The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/11/08
Great illustration of the consequences' snowball effect. Good flow. Very nice story.
01/11/08
You gave us an excellent picture of addiction.

I would have loved a bit more give and take - this felt like a lot of telling and not much showing. Maybe put us in the middle of one of their gambling sprees to make it more alive.

Excellent message, and certainly right on topic.
You definately gave us a great account of addiction. You held my attention all the way through. Great writing!
You chose a theme for your story that isn't talked about much in Christian circles, but is certainly a problem for more than a few. It fits the topic well. I would have liked an ending that was a little less predictable, maybe an indication of their love and solidarity as a couple or something. Otherwise, a good read.