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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Inner Strength (04/20/06)

TITLE: A Stranger in a Purple Land
By Amy Michelle Wiley
04/27/06


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The world was purple. Color assaulted Jena’s eyes in a confusion and for a time she wasn’t even sure she was on a world. Perhaps it was only a hallucination. She had been sick for a very long time.

That’s what she tried to tell herself. After all, the trees had gloppy orange trunks, and the leaves were blue and fluffy. A pink sun shone in the pale purple sky and the grass was a deeper purple, and sparkly.

Jena felt more completely alone then she had ever felt before. She stared toward the sky, wondering if the God of her childhood was in a world like this.

Then something caught her eye. A person was kneeling on the shores of a green lake. Relief flooded her and she ran toward the woman. “Hello!”

The woman didn’t turn around. Even when Jena stood right next to her and spoke again, she only leaned forward and pulled on a line disappearing into the water. She yanked out…something. It certainly wasn’t the fish Jena had expected.

The lady noticed her then, and jumped a little. But she only stared, then turned away. Jena’s chest tightened. She watched as the woman gathered a pile of slimy green things she had pulled from the lake, casting little glances at Jena the whole while. Her mouth opened, and for a moment it seemed no sound came out. Then Jena’s ear caught strange clickings and murmurings.

The woman stared expectantly.

“I’m sorry,” Jena faltered. “Do you speak English?”

With a smirk, the woman marched away.

Jena ran after her, desperate to not be left alone again. They reached the top of a hill, and she stopped short. Spread out below, were box-shaped forms in every color imaginable, suspended in mid air, their walls quivering and swaying in a slight breeze.

People stared at her out of the corner of their eyes. The language was more audible here, amplified by a whole village speaking with constant clickings and tisks, and always a steady hum in the background.

Jena wandered among them, vainly trying English. The colors of the village and clothing produced a garish effect, fakely cheerful.

Fear clutched at her stomach and she pulled back. The people’s obvious resentment of her presence made her wonder what they would do to a foreigner. She only closed her eyes for a second, but when she opened them she was alone.

Everyone had vanished.

Jena cried. Her eyes burned from the brilliant colors, and though it was quiet now, her ears were muddled from the speech of this world. She would never be able to distinguish the different characters, much less attempt to repeat the sounds.

“My child, why do you cry?” An old man bent over her.

Jena thought once again that perhaps she was hallucinating. “You would cry too, if you found yourself dreaming in a God-forsaken world.”

The man tugged at the end of his long, white beard. “God has not forsaken this world. He is here just the same as on any world. I can also assure you that you are not delirious.”

A little something died inside Jena when he said those last words. “And why should I believe that God is here?”

“Perhaps the fact that I happened across you today should be enough.” He bowed a little. “I am Quen. Welcome to Rembntiz.”

“Welcome!” she spat. “I hate this place. I cannot even communicate. And I hate purple!”

Quen regarded her sadly.

Jena felt somehow that this man knew what was to be known about this world, and perhaps others. “Please, tell me when I may go home.”

He looked away. “This is now your home, Jena.”

“No!” Jena pressed her hands over her ears. “I can’t live here.”

“In Rembntiz, the people’s lives are not always so easy. But there is something they call Mmdgnn.” The sound rumbled from inside him. “In our language that would be… a strength that comes from within. From our faith in God, and our perseverance. My dear,” he looked at her, his blue eyes striking, “you will need Mmdgnn if your spirit is to survive here. It is your choice.”

He left as quietly as he had come, and Jena was alone. She stood for a long time, there at the base of that purple hill. “Mmdgnn.” She tried it, this word that came from within. Then she looked up, up to the purple sky, toward the God that lay beyond it.



___________________
This story is dedicated to all those who live among Rembntiz worlds, and find the inner strength to thrive.

“The Deaf are foreigners among a people whose language they can never learn.” --Olof Hanson


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This article has been read 1417 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Teri Wilson04/27/06
I really liked this, especially with the added footnote. I happen to love purple.
darlene hight04/27/06
Wow! Winner!
Shari Armstrong 04/27/06
Wow -powerful, creative and well done -as always :) I could really feel the frustration.
terri tiffany04/27/06
Okay..so I am thick maybe..but I had a hard time getting it...I will be sure to read it again.(It is probably me!) What I did notice is that you maybe could show more than tell some of the action. My not getting it could also be because of the setting and all but otherwise it flowed nicely and was well written.
Anita Neuman04/27/06
This is well-written, but I didn't get it until the footnote. Then it all made sense - and my initial confusion made your point even more poignant. Well done!
Marilyn Schnepp 04/28/06
I'm with the minority...I don't understand it; but I was interested, not bored. So, Just keeping your Reader interested until the end is a talent in itself. THe Writer can't help it if the Reader is dense. (smile)
Maxx .04/28/06
Way out there on the creative scale! This is one of those pieces that is either a home run or a strike out, depending on the reader. The feeling of seperation, confusion, and frustration were clearly established. Good work there. But the scene needed to be refined more fully. We were in this crazy, strange land and barely got to glimpse it at all. Also, her reaction to the one person who could speak English was puzzling. But aside from that, the writing itself was bold and carried a great message. Welcome to outside the box! lol! ;-)
Brandi Roberts04/28/06
I'm so proud! I got it - muahahahahah! Before even reading the footnotes. VERY creative! I liked this!
Purity Snowe04/29/06
ok ... this is like an acid drop! woah! Have no clue what this is about ... but it's quite a read!
Melanie Kerr 04/29/06
I amm one of those that needed the the footnote! You covered the confusion and the lonliness well - but I think they should have been perhaps a little bit more fear too. It had a very dream-like quality about it.
Suzanne R04/29/06
I love it too ... and am one that really was helped by the footnote.

Well done!
Kyle Chezum04/29/06
Very cool, very cool. I love creative stories like this.
janet rubin04/30/06
I'm proud of you for taking a risk. Very out-of-the-box. Certainly draws the reader in and gets people talking. I couldn never have possibly gotten it without the footnote. Would have just thought it was some weird sci-fi thing. Creative for sure and pretty well-written.
Jan Ackerson 05/01/06
Put me in the group of people who a) loved this, and b) was grateful for the footnotes. They gave me an aha! moment, and aha! moments are great fun.
Jesus Puppy 05/01/06
Way to go Kiddo.. another winner in my book.. and others from the look of things. ;)
Jean Elizabeth 05/01/06
You have an amazing imagination - always entertaining! Great writing!
Debbie OConnor05/02/06
Extraordinary. You captured the isolation the deaf feel and communicated it to the hearing in a way we can understand. I really love everything about it. Great work.
Stephen Paynter11/08/06
I love the way you capture the isolation that deaf people must feel. A very powerful message, and compellingly written. I wonder if more people would get the message if there were more markers that what they were reading was an allogory? (Not having ever written one, I'm not sure what those would be, however.) Also, even with your explanation there are still elements of this "parable" which I don't understand. For example, what is the woman drawing from the lake? Why does she ignore her, and then show that she is noticing her? I think for an allogory to really work all the significant elements have to have some kind of parallel in the real world. Anyway, I repeat, interesting, compelling writing. Thought provoking too.