The Official Writing Challenge
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08/08/14
Wow, this piece brings back a ton of memories! Well-crafted to do just that, I reckon. I could keep in step just fine, but when they made the sophomores get their band uniforms last and mine had to be hemmed up eight inches inside both legs and arms... wwell, I quit. No way I had the spunk you demonstrated to get out there and just do it anyway. My hat's off to you! Terrific job on this article. Thanks for sharing this tiny glimpse of your teen years with us. Most of us have been there, done that,and have a closet full of tee shirts.
08/09/14
Great story and great job with this piece. Fine writing and entertaining.

God bless~
Wonderful story of growing pains, and the spiritual learning there. Great job. One little red ink. At the beginning of paragraph five, I wonder of you might want to substitute the word "not" for "never"? She tried out at the end of her freshman year, was not chosen then, but got a call to join over that summmer. The word "never" seems to imply that she tried out many times.
Ahh, this brings back memories of my own tone-deafness. I remember my choir instructor lining us up and assigning each of us one note to sing, so he could point and play us, sort of like a piano. I had only one note to remember. Even the little kids could do it. But me? Yeah, not so much. He tried a few times but quickly gave up when it was clear I wasn't going to get it.

Anyway! As for your story, great job. I'm sure you spotted the typos already, and that's about the only red ink I saw. I like the devotional message at the end.
"To this day, I still have trouble keeping time with anything. If people are singing and clapping, I have to watch their hands or I’m off-beat in a manner of seconds."

Yup. Don't know when to clap my hands, stomp my feet, bob my head. I sing in a slow sweet pause, almost getting the beat, and my tremolo warbles jaggedly.

Terrific article Shann! You bring back some not so delightful memories, but you make us all feel we are not so alone . . .
08/13/14
I really enjoyed this peak into your past and the similarities to probably most of our teen experience.
Nice way to develop this topic.
08/13/14
I'm pretty sure you know all the red ink needed, so I won't mention those.

I liked this. It reminded me also of those who "hear a different drummer," and do things to differently, "according to the music which he hears." Not wrong, not bad, just different. Our God is a God of variety and uniqueness.
08/13/14
Go ahead, red ink my comment.
*rolls eyes*
08/13/14
Go ahead, red ink my comment.
*rolls eyes*
08/13/14
I liked this story of teenage angst and trying to follow your sister. The lesson learned here is that your talents are yours and hers are hers. Good illustration.

Now for a few of the typos.
The first sentence of first conversation, does it need to end in a ?

"and if I think hard, probably literally" does it need the ()?

Right, left, right, left. I think you missed a comma.

Hope that helps if you didn't notice them already! :)
08/13/14
Oooh boy...you're not allowed to hit so close to the bone!!!

Just kidding. :) I grew up in a very musical family, so I never had trouble with pitch or beat, but the part about wanting to be like your older sister and not appreciating your own uniqueness...wow. Yeah. I was there.

Fabulous. Methinks it ought to be a winner.
08/13/14
If this isn't the best, then mine is pitiful!

Great story. I've never been exactly coordinated myself. It made me think of a game called 'rhythm.' I always ended up watching because I couldn't keep up.
08/15/14
Shann, I usually don't look at "highest ratings" ---because I somehow always forget. But, I'm glad I looked this time around, you do it for so many of us in here...and most times I'm not even aware of my ratings!

So, having said that:


C O N G R A T U L A T I O NS for coming in 15th overall!!

Smiling and so happy for you dear friend.

God bless~