The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/25/14
Great job with the topic which you nailed perfectly in this well written entry.

God bless~
Brilliant story that nails the topic right on the head - what problems a 'paradise holiday' can bring! The story brings a smile but is also quite a challenge. Great writing!
04/27/14
It sounds to me like Suzie needs a vacation away from herself. :)

This was very well written and brought home the point well and I agree with previous comment - right on topic.

Good job!
04/28/14
You did a good job of making me feel like these would be some good problems to have—for many. It flows well and well on topic. An easy read too.

Perhaps beginning the piece with at least some degree of the conflict would help draw readers in. Perfect blue skies and bliss is nice but a bit ordinary. You also might try to show a little more of Susie's frustration at Janice's constant badgering and droning on. Strong emotion, inner turmoil etc.

Overall good piece. Keep on entering, you are a star!