Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: First World Problem (04/17/14)
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TITLE: Paradise Island | Previous Challenge Entry
By Ellen Carr
04/23/14 -
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Suzie let her thoughts run off into sleep as she dozed in the morning warmth of the sun, her hat falling languidly over her eyes. Only a small group of children splashed in the pool, away at the distant end. A waterfall sang a bubbly lullaby as it gushed over some rocks into the pool.
“Would Madam like a drink?” The voice snapped her awake as a waiter, bent at the waist, held a tray of drinks in front of her.
“I was trying to sleep!” Suzie snapped. “Did you have to disturb me!”
“Sorry Ma'am. I won't disturb you any more,” said the waiter and headed over back to the bar.
Guess I'd better put some sunscreen on. What a pain it is! If only I didn't get sunburnt so easily!
Suzie lathered sunscreen over the bare parts of her body.
It's so hard covering my back with this stuff. Oh no! I've got it on my bathers and there will probably be a greasy mark.
Coated, she fished a book from her over-sized bag and lay back to read.
These white pages sure are glarey! Even with my sunglasses it's hard to read.
She adjusted the day-bed to its flat position and turned onto her stomach. Holding the book in front of her, shaded by her hat, she could read. The book, recommended in the literary pages of the newspaper as 'a gripping tale of romance and intrigue' would be perfect holiday reading.
Now to lose myself in this book; that's my plan. Time to myself, time to read! Luxury!
“Suzie! I hoped I'd find you here! Isn't it glorious! What are you reading? I love books; romance is my favorite genre. How about you?”
It was Janice, the 'on-the-vacation-of-my-life-dear' Janice, very-loud Janice. Last night at dinner Janice had told Suzie her life story and insisted that they would definitely be vacation pals. Now Suzie could not ignore her. Here she was, in her face.
“It's 'Paradise Island',” Suzie answered as calmly as she could. “I was hoping for some quiet time here to just read.”
“Don't mind me, dear.” Janice was undeterred. “I'll just sit quietly and do my own reading. I'm reading 'The Homecoming', myself. It's the best book! Mervin, the hero, is a real hunk. You'd love it, I bet.” And she went on, and on, and on about the books she'd read and then she started on the movies she'd enjoyed.
Suzie jumped to her feet and looked at her watch.
“Sorry, Janice. Have to get my hair done at ten. I have an appointment at the resort salon. See you later.” And she fled to the quiet of her room.
Yes it was a bit of a lie, but almost true. I do have a booking for eleven and I can't put up with that Janice rabbiting on. I need some me time.
She lay on her king-size bed and began reading again.
Looking forward to the banquet luncheon. I'll sit well away from Janice though.
She picked absently at some nuts on her bedside table, put the book down and flicked the television on.
Better keep up with the news, even though I'm on holiday.
“Airfares are set to rise from the beginning of July,” said the smooth newsy voice.
That'll limit my next holiday plans!
“Environmentalists are urging people to use less electricity, by turning their heating down a bit and their air-conditioner temperatures up a bit. Just a degree or two could reduce our green-house gas output considerably.”
No way am I changing my settings. I like to be warm in winter and cool in summer. This is too depressing. I'm on holiday. I don't need to think about things like that.
And she switched the sound off.
Better have another shower before the hairdresser, to wash this sunscreen cream off. And I'd better change for lunch. But what to wear? Will I put my caftan on, or my three-quarter pants and the floral top. Decisions, decisions! And this is meant to be a holiday!
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This was very well written and brought home the point well and I agree with previous comment - right on topic.
Good job!
Perhaps beginning the piece with at least some degree of the conflict would help draw readers in. Perfect blue skies and bliss is nice but a bit ordinary. You also might try to show a little more of Susie's frustration at Janice's constant badgering and droning on. Strong emotion, inner turmoil etc.
Overall good piece. Keep on entering, you are a star!