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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Achoo (04/11/13)

TITLE: Choo Choo Choo
By Verna Cole Mitchell
04/17/13


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A Children's Story

The Choo Choos were a busy train family, whistling loudly as they chugged across the country: Choo choo choo, get out out of our way. They traveled across smooth plains and dipped into deep valleys before they climbed high mountains, always with the same refrain, “Choo choo choo.” Rolling along through sunshine and rain and sleet and snow, they saw beautiful sights on their way to grand adventures.

There were many cars in the family, calling “Choo choo choo” cheerfully to everyone they saw as they traveled in single file behind Daddy Engine. They had all learned quickly to make the choo choo choo sound—all, that is, except for the last little car. Trying as hard as he could to sound like the others, all he could ever get out was “achoo.” He did shriek this very loudly though.

When the train family would pull into the station, people would laugh at the sound made by the last little car. He got tired of this and complained to his parents, “I want to make the same noise as everybody else.”

Finally, his parents took him to the train doctor, who examined him carefully. He felt his sides and poked his wheels and found nothing wrong. Then he listened to his whistle. “Ahh,” he said, I’ve found the problem. Since he’s at the end of a long line of Choo Choos, all the dirt stirred up from the wheels of the other cars come back to him, and he has dust in his whistler; so all he can shriek is “Achoo.”

They put a big black bonnet on his whistle, and at last, with his “achoo” gone, now he could whistle, “Choo choo choo” just like the others, but people still laughed when the train family pulled into the station at the last little car wearing a big black bonnet.


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This article has been read 202 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Yvonne Blake 04/18/13
I love it! I could see it in my mind - even the black bonnet on the cabboose.
Christina Banks 04/20/13
What a cute little story.
Beth LaBuff 04/23/13
This story is begging for illustrations. I can see it as an illustrated ebook. I would LOVE to buy this to read to myself (and of course my grandchildren). Your descriptive story is full of fun images that would delight all ages. Absolutely LOVE this!!
Judith Gayle Smith04/24/13
Perfect children's book - for us kids of all ages! Love this little tale . . .
Alicia Renkema04/25/13
I know this was a whole different story, but with the "choo-choo's" all I could think of was "The Little Engine that Could" because that had been one of my favorites as a child and also my son's. I guess too because the poor little car that all he could do was say, "Achoo" was really struggling just as the other little engine did. This was a super cute story. I loved the part at the end with the black bonnet. That was too funny. I would totally buy a book like this and who needs kids, I am with whoever said she would read it herself. Great job of turning a "cho-choo" into an Achoo and then back again...
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 04/26/13
Congratulations on ranking 19 overall!
Cheryl Harrison 04/26/13
I agree... this story should be developed into a children's book. Great job. Keep writing.