The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/28/13
When it just so happens that it is "One dark and stormy night" to describe it any other way would surely be an untruth. I'm glad you held firm in speaking the truth. :) You've given us tangible descriptions, I could see the bedroom light up from the lightening and hear the windows rattle, and you've captured a lot of playfulness in the moment. I had to totally smile (and completely agree) that the scientific explanation from Mr. Pringle lacked imagination. :) You've created wonderful personification of the clouds and the wind, with its a gruff brogue (and for good reason), and then not to be outdone, the sleepy, floaty clouds grumbling over the light switch flipping of the lightening and in their own accent, telling the weather to back off. I see pictures in clouds too, and now I will be listening for their accent. :)
03/02/13
Such a lovely descriptive and well written entry. I enjoyed the entire thing... from start to finish. Authentic dialogue and inspirational as well on many levels.

God bless~
Oh how I love this story. You must pursue turning this into a child's book! I've been terrified of thunder (well really lightening since I realized the thunder can't hurt me) for my whole life. I think we all have heard those stories: God's bowling or He's moving his furniture. I used to tell my kids that it was clouds bumping into each other since that seemed closest to the truth. I guess I should have had a science teacher like Mr. Sprinkle! I love this and do hope you'll make it a picture book. When you do, I want an autographed copy!
I got so wrapped up in the story, I totally forgot about the cliché opening! That you managed to make that work, is just another example of the genius behind this!
03/02/13
A lovely, imaginative take on thunder and clouds. Like Shann I think this could well be developed into a children's book. Well done!
Your story kept my attention all the way through. You really should adapt this into a children's book. I think it would be well received. Great descriptions and dialogue. Thanks for writing.
A thunderous resounding echo of applause was heard throughout God's bowling alley for this delightful explanation! I too want an autographed copy of the book you MUST make from this! How delightful a read this is!

Love in and through and because of Jesus . . .
Poor Mr. Pringle - mayhaps someone should read him this entry to get his facts straight?
God's thunder, like a "potato wagon," ... Clouds talking -- "Like a brogue in the wind..." Periwinkle clouds matching periwinkle eyes... I adored this simply charming and very colorful tale about a storm inspiring a bedtime banter between a loving father and his daughter. This story was so inviting, putting the reader right in that bedroom, watching the storm with Cindy and her dad; making one want to gaze outside to see the amazing technicolor show. I hope this takes as EC, it has been my favorite read so far. Blessings on you. The way you write you must have a very amazing family!
Every parent, I imagine, has been challenged to help their children overcome their fear of stormy nights. This is worth putting in the memory file, to be retrieved by young parents, and grandparents, when needed. Definitely an enjoyable read.
03/04/13
God's potato wagon, huh? That's new one for me that I'll have to remember next time we have a thunder storm! :)

This was a sweet, gentle tale; perfect for a bedtime story for kids! I can really see it as a picture book!

My favorite lines were: "Clouds like to sleep, too, you know; but how can they with the weather flipping the light switch on and off all the time. So, they speak up in a grumbling and a bit loud accent to tell the weather to back off.” That made me smile, and I know it would comfort and intrigue a young child, too!

03/05/13
This would make a lovely children's book or story in a children's magazine. I love how you interject color and images throughout.

I never heard it decribed as falling pototoes before.
03/06/13
Your's was a magnificent tale of a parents creativity in love. I adored it from beginning to end and visualized the storm and your characters effortlessly as if I were in the room. Kudos!
03/09/13
Oh, this is so adorable. Your creative, imaginitive writing skills captivate me time and again.

One small point... you've shattered a childhood myth. I was led to believe that thunder was -- only God, moving the furniture around in heaven. How could you!!!