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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Sweet to the Taste (08/23/12)

TITLE: and ... she became
By Lori Othouse
08/30/12


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Unattractive was how he saw her
And unattractive she became.
His critical eye looked her up and down,
She cringed when he called her name.

Her hair was too short, her makeup not right,
Her clothes unfit for a pig,
And when, in depression, she gained some weight,
He lambasted her for being so big.

She didn’t do this right, or this, or this,
No matter how hard she tried.
The pointing finger became just too much
And she fell to her knees and cried.

Her deep blue eyes became dull and sad,
Frown lines formed in between.
Apathy enveloped her countenance,
Her smile could rarely be seen.

Then one day he looked his last at her,
He grew tired of the mess he made.
He packed his bags and slammed the door
As her hope continued to fade.

Unattractive and sad, his prophecy fulfilled,
Was how she spent her days,
Until one fair morning, when another arrived,
And saw through the outward haze.

Her beauty within caught his loving eye
And he gazed at her like a jewel.
Knowing the treasure that lay inside
Was hidden by words so cruel.

He told her of all that was right with her,
Of all that she was and could be.
Slowly a spark flickered inside,
Her true self she began to see.

The light in her eyes returned once more,
The lines softened around her face.
Her tears became few and far between;
Laughter had taken their place.

Sweet to the taste like Proverbs’ honey
And life to her vanquished soul,
His gracious words began to undo
The harm that had taken its toll.

From the way he gently held her hand
To the way he whispered her name…
Beautiful was how he saw her
And beautiful she became.


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This article has been read 329 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Charla Diehl 08/31/12
What a wonderful poem that fittingly describes the affect our words have on each other. This was a joy to read--rhythm and rhyme rank an A+. Love the happy ending.
CD Swanson 08/31/12
Flowed so smoothly, the words were lovely, and the meaning beautiful.
thanks. God bless~
Danielle King 09/02/12
Aw ... Beautiful. Loved it!
Theresa Santy 09/03/12
You poets never fail to blow my mind. How do you do that, draw me in so close, and make me simultaneously smile and cry?

Lovely.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 09/05/12
This brought tears to my eyes. I feel like I could have written this myself, except the rhythm would be a tad off and my rhymes a bit forced. I have a feeling many can relate, either personally or from knowing someone like her. There have been quite a few stories this week about words being sweet and though I don't know if it will be considered directly on topic. However for me, words do leave a definite taste in one's mouth and your poem is so filled with hope. No matter how high it ranks with the judges, I have no doubt that the Holy Spirit will score it quite high as Jesus uses your words to reach out and comfort so many.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 09/06/12
Congratulations for ranking 19th overall!