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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Rich (04/26/12)
One hot summer night in Southern California, Tommy Bleeker won a seventy-eight million dollar Lottery jackpot. Dude was so out of his mind, he could hardly breathe. Gone were the days of scraping a living together as gum buster for the U.S. Department of Labor, removing sticky, pestilent, already-been-chewed wads from city sidewalks, park benches, and smelly school gym lockers.

Tommy cashed out the after-tax lump sum payment of forty-two million, dumped it all onto his living room floor, and rolled in it—HooYAH!

For one long, dazzling afternoon, legal tender rained inside Tommy’s studio apartment. Dude carved out C-note floor angels, tossing up handfuls of the crunchy bills, until he passed out from excitement.

Early the next morning, the heady, green scent of money filled Tommy’s nostrils, and snapped him out of his stupor. He grinned wide as he rolled out of the crumpled wads.

Time to go shopping!

In the sparkling town of Beverly Hills, Tommy exchanged his Toyota Camry plus one million dollars for a Bugatti Veyron 16.4, a beast of a machine that could go from zero to one hundred in five point two seconds, and had once been clocked at 253mph!

On the way home, Tommy got a speeding ticket, but he was not deterred. He bought a boat, two Sea-Doos, and a mighty truck to haul them. He upgraded from his studio apartment to a bulging home in an affluent neighborhood, and he bought the newest version of every electronic gadget known to man.

Tommy made new friends, and threw wild and extravagant parties for them. He lived a hyper-colored version of his previous, dull, gray life.

People talked about him, blogged about him, and once, he was featured on CGEN, Celebrity Gossip and Entertainment News.

Tommy had it all.

And for some reason, he was pitied by a man named Guy, who lived in a box with a dog named Bo, in the alley between Second and Pine.
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This article has been read 1492 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Lillian Rhoades 
05/03/12
It's obvious the rest of this story never made it to its intended destination. Perhaps we'll never know why rich guy Tommy was pitied by poor guy, Guy unless the rest of the story ends up in the Critique Circle. :-)
C D Swanson 
05/05/12
Loved this. Great descriptive piece along with internal realizations of "empty riches."

I loved the "pitied" note at the end of the story...I'm thinking and feeling the man with his dog lived a life rich in Godly intent and purpose, the polar opposite of the "rich guy."

Thanks for this clever story...I enjoyed it very much.

God Bless~

Donna Wilcher
05/09/12
This reminded me of the Rich man and Lazarus story in Luke 16:19-31.

"Poor" Tommy will be begging "Rich" Guy a cool drink of water for all eternity...Ouch!

I wonder if Tommy will keep trying to put that camel through the eye of a needle?





Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
05/09/12
Oh this is a masterfully crafted piece. I'm sure most of us had have those what if dreams and we probably have good intentions at first but how easily it is to get caught in that trap. The last line was profound and says it all.
Edmond Ng
05/10/12
Congratulations on getting Highly Recommended!
C D Swanson 
05/10/12
Congratulations and God Bless~
Donna Wilcher
05/10/12
Yepee! Congratulations my friend! Well done!
Sandra Renee Hicks 
05/15/12
Hi -

Talk about perspective. This sure brought it home.

Thank you!