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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Spam (not the meat) (11/03/11)
Spam-I-Am

I am Spam.
Spam I am.
Surely you know
I’m Spam-I-Am!

Oh Spam-I-Am, you’re such a ham.
I do not like you, Spam-I-Am!

Don’t like me, eh? Don’t like my spam?
Don’t you sir? Or is it ma’am?

Spam-I-Am, you Spam-I-Am!
You creepy-crawly Spam-I-Am!
Popping up with spam galore
To irritate me more and more!

Ahem, I see you don’t like spam.
(Spam-I-Am just took a slam.)

I hate your spam, you SPAM-I-AM!
You’re flagrant, prideful – you’re a sham!
I do not like your kind of scam!

But…
Will you read spam here … or there?

I do not read spam here OR there. I do not read it anywhere!

Will you read spam in email? Will you read it without fail?

I do not like spam in email. I will not read it without fail. I do not like it here or there. I do not like it anywhere!

Will you read it every day? Knowing that it’s here to stay?

Not every day, and not to stay! Not in the mail; not without fail. I will not read it here or there. I will not read it anywhere! I will not read your spammy spam. I will not read it, Spam-I-Am!

Will you read it with a spouse?
Will you click on his/her mouse?

I will not read it with a spouse.
I will not click on his/her mouse!
I will not read it every day.
I hate to think it’s here to stay!
I will not read your spam email!
I do detest it, without fail!

Not here or there? Not anywhere?

I will not read it here or there!
I will not read it anywhere!
You are a sham promoting scam!
I WILL NOT READ IT, Spam-I-Am!

I think you said you would not read.
I think you meant it, yes indeed.
You will not read spam here or there.
And now I’ve heard you loud and clear.
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This article has been read 952 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Cheryl von Drehle
11/17/11
Fun! there are two of these spam I am poems and it isentertaining to see how different they are.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
11/17/11
I love Dr. Seuss and you did the classic story justice. It was a delight to read. I did notice there were two of these with similar titles. I guess great minds think alike.

I'm not an expert at rhythm so I hesitate to say this but I thought the lines with his/her mouse might have flowed better if you said his or her. But that's a tiny detail.

Thanks for the nice chuckle. I thought this topic was super hard but you did a delightful job of incorporating it.
C D Swanson 
11/17/11
I loved reading this. Poems are always a good read - and this one did not disappoint.

Right on topic and brought forth a chuckle and a smile in the process. Great job!

God Bless~
Noel Mitaxa 
11/17/11
This kind of poetry needs a much closer "eggs-ham"ination than I can offer.
Very clever.
Margaret Kearley
11/18/11
Brilliant - really brought a smile, very clever! Much moe funt oread than tons of spam mail!!
Glynis Becker
11/18/11
Wonderful! Clever take on the topic and nicely done.
Linda Goergen
11/19/11
THREE “Spam-I-Am” poems in masters, that is funny in itself! LOL Like the old saying, guess Great minds think alike. Cute and fun take on the topic.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
12/02/11
Congratulations for ranking 10th in Masters and 14th overall!