The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 652 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
10/21/11
I loved the dramatic, surprise shift in the middle and the dialogue. Just when I thought it was a dry rendition of a well known Bible passage it delightfully changed gears and made me smile. The ending didn't seem to gel as well but overall a great story and excellent point.
10/21/11
Great message, and held my interest throughout. I realy enjoyed it. Good job. God bless~
10/22/11
How cute and clever and entertaining and comical! I thoroughly enjoyed this creative, well written story! And what a fresh and unique way to weave the topic into a well known bible story! I personally loved the ending and Joshua’s obvious chagrin as he said ““Are you ready to follow a fool?” I laughed out loud! Just a great job on this!
10/22/11
Far-fetched entry with a pretty absurd tale.

Mona
10/22/11
I don't mean that to sound as negative as it does. Just a wow, didn't see where it was going...in a good way.

mona
10/22/11
I loved the ending! I knew it was coming, but still I really enjoyed this entry!
10/22/11
Oh, I love this!

The ending felt too much like a simple report, too me. I think I maybe would have started with the "eerie glow" and backtracked a bit? Or had Joshua explain the situation a bit as he talks to God. Maybe something like "Lord, I know I asked for a plan, and I know you've gotten us through sticky situations before, but... what IS this thing?" Or something like that.

Overall, though, this is an awesome entry! When Joshua threw the computer down, I was thinking of the line from the move Elf... "You sit on a throne of lies!"
10/24/11
Very creative idea. It made me think again about the story and how God's plan did sound ridiculous. I loved the two characters and the dialogue between them.
This was on topic and quite creative. The beginning drew me in and the end made me giggle. I really liked your message about she importance of faith.
Congratulations for ranking 15th in level 4!