The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/11/11
I wonder how many couples go through the same challenge when the nest is suddenly empty and they realize that they don't know each other. Added to this the hurts of the past that never got resolved in the flurry of family life. Lots to think about in this story and I'm so glad it has the beginning of a happy ending.
I'm facing that empty nest feeling about now. I know I really need to put in-extra effort to keep my marriage fresh. Thanks for the great reminder and story.
02/14/11
Oh my, the thickness in the air is so familiar -- you've caught it perfectly! I felt the bewilderment, the disappointments, the buried hopefulness of those flown-by years. Glad to know there may be a fresh start.
02/15/11
This story certainly has an authentic feel to it. I felt that it was a little slow to get going but I loved the climax, especially the way that she didn't immediately snatch up the flower. Romance takes time ...
02/15/11
Thanks for the read. I am glad that one of them had the courage to stop the rot! A very gentle ending full of promise.
This is a story to really make the reader think. I like that. You captured the mood perfectly.I really liked the hope at the end.
02/15/11
Wow, awesome. Held my attention throughout. When's the book coming out? Good job.
02/15/11
P.S. For someone who isn't married, I think you nailed it. We are at that point in our lives, not estranged in the same way, but facing getting to know each other again. Again, good job.
02/15/11
You did a great job of capturing the tension between the couple. The voice for the mc was strong too. I like how they knew each other enough to finish each other's sentences at the end...a good sign they're still in touch with each other after all.
02/15/11
You are highly skilled at syntax. Your sentence variety is A plus. This gives your writing a highly polished feel.
02/16/11
Aww, I love the ending! I hope that they worked at revitalizing their marriage from that point on rather than letting it sink deeper. You did a great job of capturing the sad picture of a couple being "just married" having forgotten their love, and then turning it around and showing that there is hope in those situations. God can renew their love.
02/16/11
Poignant and beautiful....as we always expect from you.
02/17/11
Economically descriptive and evocative work. Nine years ago we moved into the empty-nest stage, but we're finding that it need not be the empti-est stage.
02/17/11
YAY! Congrats! :D
02/17/11
Excellent piece. Congratulations on your win.
Very Nice. Makes me realize that God works with us even when we aren't in a hurry to work with him. I found your characters realistic and believable, and I loved the ending. Good job.
You are getting so good at this. Your voice is fine tuned; a pleasure to read. Congrats on EC!
02/18/11
Beautiful writing Rachel - sad, often true, but a wonderful ending of hope and restoration. A very touching story. Congratulations on your well deserved placing.