The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 889 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
12/02/10
I love this story. It is well written with vivid word pictures. It really tugs at the heart.
12/03/10
Enjoyed your really well written and interesting story. Thanks!
Your story is really excellent--draws the reader into the scene right away by showing, not telling. I so wanted the little girl to respond to the story. Definitely on target for the topic.
12/03/10
Oh, I like this. It's amazing how kids listen even when we don't think they do, isn't it? I loved the ending.
The conclusion gave me goosebumps! I though the girl could have autism, which would explain her reaction to the noise around her. Even if not- great story!
This one touched me. Reminded me of VBS and Good News Club, where we have an emphasis on missionary work. I could see some of my kids in your little girl. Thanks for writing. Blessings.
This is such a sweet story. I enjoyed it all. I wondered what made the little girl's heart hurt so that she tried to tune out the world. There are so many little ones who hurt like that. Nice storytelling.
12/06/10
You have included some great verbal pictures and a real sense of hope and continuity. Thoroughly true to life.
12/06/10
I loved your descriptions of the girl and her responses to the environment and then the story. Good work.
Congratulations for placing 8th in your level and 12th overall!