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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Writing a Letter (handwritten correspondence) (10/21/10)
With one last gaze at the pristine package, I grip its top edge and open it to the air. Careful not to tear the wrapper, I slide a single sheet of floral paper from the stack inside and lay the packet on top of the clutter on my side table.

I guess this is the special occasion I’ve been saving Grandma's stationary for. It was one of her gifts to me on my 12th birthday. She also gave me a Bible with my first name written in gold on the cover. Evie. I’ve been saving that, too, I guess.

I’d always meant for the first letter I wrote on the pretty stationary to be a thank you note to Grandma. But I didn’t mean to wait over three years to write it.

I also didn’t mean for it to be the last letter I’d write to her.

===

Dear Grandma,

I know you don’t have much longer, but I also know that dying doesn’t bother you like it does most people. You’re sure of where you’re going.

I’m sorry I haven’t written to you before now, but honestly? I was scared to. But now I want to before it’s too late.

You always knew me. Even back then, when you lived on the next block from us, and you were at our house all the time. I always thought you kinda understood me, even though I didn’t understand myself. It was like you saw deep into me to stuff others couldn’t.. . The hurt. The sadness. The wants. The loneliness.

Mom and dad only knew me as pouty and high-maintenance. They never cared about what was wrong, they only ever wanted me to stop crying and whining.

My brothers knew me as a crybaby tattle-tale. They made fun of me, they teased me. They hurt my feelings to make me cry, and then they laughed at me.

But you, Grandma, you knew I had problems, issues, and a reason to be in a bad mood. You didn’t know what it was any more than I did, but you didn’t pretend everything should be alright when it wasn’t.

You let me be me, even when I wasn’t perfect. Well, for a while, anyway. But you let me cry about my punishment. You didn’t punish me for crying. You comforted me.

And you let me cry.

I wasn’t ever scared of you, either.

I wish you still lived there. Maybe you could have helped me understand myself better.

I wanted to finally say thank you. I wanted you know how much I love you.

I’ll miss you Grandma.

Love
Evie

---

I blow gently on the page, making sure the ink is dry before I fold the flowery page exactly in half and slip it into a matching envelope. The gummed flap sweetens my tongue. In shaky letters, I write, “Grandma” across the front.

Envelope in hand, I squat in front of the fireplace and poke the logs, bringing the flames to new life.

“Jesus, if you’re really there, please give this to my grandma when she gets to Heaven.”

I kiss the envelope before carefully laying it on the burning wood. The flowers wilt and curl, then disintegrate before my tearing eyes. In a rush, the papery ash sails up the chimney in a blackened whirlwind.

“Amen.”

I stand and go back to my chair. The cushions welcome my slight weight and gently hug me. On the coffee table, a small handgun waits for me, shimmering in the firelight.

I lean forward and take it in my hands. When I turn the barrel towards me and bring it to my lips, my elbow dislodges the stationary and it slips from its perch. Grandma's Bible is bared, and it mocks me. My golden name winks at me, daring me to finally open the cover.

Until now, the book had lived quietly beside me amongst the clutter--a constant reminder of Grandma. I no longer really saw it, like a landmark you pass every day but only notice when it changes.

I lay the gun down in my lap and extract the Bible from the mess.

Maybe I should look inside before I go.

But only for Grandma.
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This article has been read 1317 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
william price
10/28/10
I don't usually admit to tears, but this really moved me. Excellent story, masterfully told. This gets my double-way-kool award for creativity too. I'm glad your ending blew me away and not your mc. I'm keeping this story. Well done. And yes, grandmommy's are special as is the heart of this writer; very tender and true.
Rachel Phelps
10/30/10
I loved the ending - perfect last line. The whole story just drew me in without my being aware of how you did it, which is a mark of an exceptional writer in my book. Well done.
Marita Thelander 
10/30/10
oooo What I like about this is the line that caught my attention and settled in my mind as I read was exactly the right line: I’ve been saving that, too, I guess.

It was the perfect set up for your last two sentences. THAT, my friend, is purposefully subtle writing that is a true skill/gift.
Tiffanie Chezum
10/31/10
A very unexpected direction and very well written. Great job.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
10/31/10
This is a powerful story. There's something about some Grandmas who just seem to get it. Teen suicide is once again on the rise. Your story has a great message and is well done.

My only red ink is little but very rarely do female teens use a gun to commit suicide.

But the message of your story is wonderful and is well written and left me holding my breath.
Verna Cole Mitchell 
10/31/10
Your story is really excellent--bringing the character to life through her thoughts and her letter. I love the hope in the ending.
Virgil Youngblood 
10/31/10
Well written. I did want to know what prompted her hopelessness, and how she became familiar enough with a pistol to use it, if her father didn't teach her. But, those are minor details.
Nancy Sullivan 
11/01/10
I wasn't prepared for the ending - which actually turned out to be a beginning. God always shows up on time and has His resources in place. Your story is a powerful illustration of that truth. Great job.
Barbara Culler 
11/01/10
Good story. I also want to know what was going on with the MC.

Is this based on a true story?
Caitlyn Meissner
11/03/10
The ending really surprised me. I'm glad the Lord can her a chance for new life. Thanks for a great story. :)
Scarlett Farr
11/04/10
wow...that kept me guessing til the end and I never guessed that ending! Great story, kept me intrigued all the way through.
Edmond Ng
11/04/10
A very sad story with an ending that promises to make a difference. Enjoy the reading thoroughly. Excellent work!
william price
11/05/10
Just wanted to congratulate you on our 1st place BC today. Bill's Choice.
I thought this was outstanding. Sincerely OUTSTANDING. I loved it.
God bless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
11/05/10
Congratulations for placing 9th in level 4 and 15th overall!