The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1042 times
Member Comments
Your story brought tears to my eyes and touched a pesonal cord with me. Well-written, tender and caring . . . God bless you.
You have a gift for writing touching stories with real meaning. :)

This story really got to me because it was like getting inside the head of an elderly person in a nursing home. Sometimes it's easy to wonder if they're so far gone that they can't think much of anything, but your story showed that they are still God's children and that they should not be forgotten by us, His servants.
I have to tell you that when I finished reading this one, I said something outloud... it was the word, "Wow!". Sarah Elisabeth, you nailed this. It touched me in ways that you will never know. Thank you.

I particularly liked the way you broke up the little girl's speech. It added to the realism and stopped her 'preaching' from coming across as just something contrived by the author
This was so sad because so many live the remainder of their lives like your MC--feeling forgotten and discarded. May God bless the ones who bring a bit of happiness to these lonely people.
Excellent story. You conveyed such sadness with your words. Forgotten by God brings to mind a really bleak place to be. I love the snatches of the prayer.
Your story didn't catch me right at first, maybe because of all the telling, but as soon as the little voices said "Merry Christmas!" I was hooked. You had a story to tell, you told it well, and it definitely honors God. Good job!
Wonderfully written. The care centers are full of those whose families seldom visit. You have clearly shown the joy a visit can bring. -- and in so doing, reminded us who are able to go and do likewise.
Wow you did it again. If the last time hadn't booted you up to Masters this one surely would have. outstanding!
You really have a gift to bring the heart of your characters to life. Beautiful story.
I love the way you told this story. Just enough anger, hurt, forgotten feeling. This should do very well, I think.

This is excellent Sarah! The first line had me hooked and from there you bring your reader right into what your MC is experiencing. The message is a very powerful one - being God to people the world has forgotten. I hope it does really well!
The first line grabbed me, and your story held me throughout. There were a few sentences where the telling was a bit strong, but I noticed only slightly. Awesome work, girl!
Yay Sarah!!!! :D Congrats on your editor's choice!
So compelling and inspiriting...sniff...congratulations.
This was so powerful and beautiful, Sarah! Congrats on your win!
Wow, Sarah! Welcome to masters. You can say it...I know you can, 'cause you certainly can write it. Congrats!

Mari <3
Congratulations, brought tears to my eyes. This piece is wonderful.
Really beautifully written, Sarah. And definitely deserving of a win! Congratulations!!