The Official Writing Challenge
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A very picturesque, showing, not telling narrative!

A couple of my favorite phrases: "summer puts away her heat and shakes the cool out of the day" & "angry shouts snap my brain to attention as adrenaline calls the troops to order along my unseen nerve highway"

This wonderfully poignant story shows so much about the time setting and the grace to be found in the MC's home. The descriptions are beautiful music in sharp contrast to the despair of the neighbors in the night scene. "Flung grace"--what an original concept for prayer.
This is amazing - and heart-rending. Your descriptions are brilliant and so real, its almost as I were there! Great writing.
07/17/10
I loved the delicate, poetic way you told this story. Wonderfully crafted!
07/19/10
Your story captured my attention early and held it throughout. Great storytelling.
I could relate in a way to the mom chasing the wayward boy...as I remember one such incident from my past.
I love your powerful phrases.

Mona
07/19/10
I was completely enraptured from the start, which was, btw, a fantastic hook. I loved the word shoogle, and even though Webster's shrugged at me, I might have to steal that one. ;) The line that broke me...Silence walks in and sits down at their table. Really, that entire paragraph was divine. And most of all, I loved that I giggled reading the last line...so sweet, so innocent. One of my favorites this week.
07/20/10
This is an amazing story--so vivid and real. It would be hard to live next door to a family like that, but your MC handles the situation very well. Sometimes, all you can do is pray for peace. Very descriptive and well-written--good job.
07/20/10
My brother had an orange Hot Wheels race track, I could see this so vividly. The prayer at the end melted my heart. This is so very good.
"Despair seeps out of their open window and snakes its way to where I’m hiding. It joins hands with my soul’s sorrow, settling a dark cloud, heavy and thick, over me. My body trembles under the weight. "

You made me feel it too! Exquisite writing.
07/22/10
Yay, Dee! Congrats on your placing with this wonderful entry.
07/22/10
Dee, great story! Love this line, “Jesus, love them,” I echo as I fling imaginary grace against their window panes."

Congratulations! Hugs, Rita
07/23/10
Ooooohh...I love all the metaphors! ...and the new vocab word, "shoogle." I'm going to have to use sometime soon.
07/23/10
Congratulations on your EC, Dee!