The Official Writing Challenge
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Entertaining and very realistic! I chuckled at camping in the pastor's driveway. And, you are right...it takes effort to truly share time alone with God, but then again, so is the pastor...worshiping in song can also create a special, one on one, even with other, annoying humans right beside ya. :)
02/27/10
Cute story.
03/01/10
Nice story which many of your readers will identify with. In a world of cell phones, texting, facebook, and such a rush paced in everything we do, it is so hard to be still. Like your MC, I always gravitate towards nature to find some peaceful moments.
Very nice, you had so many undertones going. I enjoyed the subtle flirting and that the sshh sound was skies. I laughed that she camped in the driveway.
03/01/10
I like this a lot. I liked the "shhh" of the skis. Nice touch. And there are some good reminders in here too! Great job.
Excellent description, great dialogue flow, and good message. I especially liked the way you handled the sounds, and "The zzzzzrrrriiIIIP silenced the early morning bird and bug chorus, and one final SHHH.....SHHHHHH echoed off her tent and across the narrow meadow." line. The one thing that tripped me up a bit was " "Not even close. David," he said, and stuck out his hand." For some reason, I read it as him calling HER David, rather than introducing himself. But my mind's moving kind of slow tonight, so it could just be me. :-)
03/02/10
Good stuff. My favorite one-liner was "Underground anti-initial militia cell" Corny but delightful
03/02/10
Thanks for reminding me of the need to actively look for silence before the Lord. Good story my friend.
03/02/10
Sweet story. I kept thinking about tent camping in the snow. Brrr. I wanted a little more conflict from her POV to let me know about her desire to escape. Maybe, David could have asked. But, I enjoyed this story.
Mona
This was definitely a creative take on the topic. Good job...and I liked just the hint of a possible romance.
I liked the MC's ambitious attempt at privacy. I enjoyed the humor of situation--camping in a pastor's driveway. The dialogue was great. The reader could even 'read' the accent. Good message. Good story. Good writing.
03/02/10
Very creative slant with the setting, great message about the ways to "be still."
I like it. :o)
03/03/10
Nicely written! Being still certainly should come from the heart, and more so with listening.
We plan, but God directs our course. Good lesson, well-told in this story that is sooo easy to relate to. You did a great job with the banter between the two characters making it easy for the reader to know who and what they were about and searching for.
Well written, but who in their right mind camps in the snow? Yikes!!!