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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Huh? (01/21/10)

TITLE: Resumption of Evolutionary Mutations (and other anomalies)
By Beth LaBuff


It started out like other days,
Sunup, on cue, at dawn.
Counter-clockwise spun the earth.
As usual, time pressed on.

Then unexpected, aye unplanned,
The timing quite succinct,
When every creature small and great
On this vast planet blinked.

The result was a disturbance
A bizarre anomaly,
Altered the course of creature-kind
And earth’s trajectory.

The simultaneous eye closure
By every living thing,
Had widespread consequences
From Pittsburgh to Peking.

Scientists were flummoxed, but still they theorized,
Purported forth as gospel truth, “Earth met-a-morph-o-sized.”

It started, NOT like bygone days,
Sunup – an hour past dawn!
The earth rotated clock-wise—
Reversed the Amazon!

And drizzle in the rainforest—
Extinct, as was the heat.
The moisture now that issued forth
Came down as snow and sleet.

Dwellers in this forest headed in a new direction
They arrived at the Antarctic, ‘twas their
“natural selection.”

The chicken, brunt of riddles,
To the town of Pittsburgh showed,
She’d grown a compass on her beak
That helped her cross the road.

Evolved upon the bovine was
A switch upon her udder,
Clicked left, she pumped out chocolate milk,
Switched right, she churned out butter.

A pig inside the barnyard
Perceived a strange sensation,
Then just above his bacon
Transpired a new mutation.

Like superman— up, up away!
Pig flew into the sky.
He’d generated feathered wings.
The porcine beast could fly.

When farmer saw the winged-pig fly, perplexed conjecture flowed,
And… “Survival of the fittest?” – when the chicken crossed the road.

Then ‘round the world, the Peking Man,
The first to walk upright.
He backwards— started to devolve,
A puzzling fossil plight!

Nearby a restaurant in Peking,
A chicken, they extolled.
Instead of laying chicken eggs,
She laid chicken eggrolls.

Would this grant Darwin a >BIG BANG< ? Or, would he be amused
To learn what happened when
we blinked, or would he be confused?

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This article has been read 1074 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Loren T. Lowery01/29/10
Oh so clever. It reminds me of Lewis Carroll's "The Walrus and the Carpenter" "The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

Thanks for two things, penning this wonderful prose and taking me back to one of my favorite authors - Lewis Carroll.
Laury Hubrich 01/29/10
So funny. I wonder if you know all these words that I have no clue of the meanings, or you have to research to find what works? If so, these poems would be tedious but so enjoyable:)
Sharlyn Guthrie01/30/10
Delightfully hilarious!
Patricia Herchenroether01/31/10
I think you started a new evolution-er...hen solution or something. Funeeee.
Verna Cole Mitchell 02/01/10
No one I know, like you. has such mastery of hilarity. My two favorites of all the wonderful pictures you painted were of the chicken with the compass to cross the road and the cow with the miraculous udder. Awesome writing, Friend!
Celeste Ammirata02/01/10
Wow! Clever, and I love this take on the topic. For a few lines, I was saying HUH, myself.LOL Great job!
Jim McWhinnie 02/01/10
Beth, you handle words with such a brilliant dexterity. You are both a master wordsmith and a master humorist - our own Ogden Nash.

Such artistry.
Virgil Youngblood 02/01/10
Creative to the Nth degree with fun word pictures. Excellent.
Chely Roach02/01/10
Wow, you rock the humor poetry! Very clever...tee hee!
Gregory Kane02/02/10
Decidedly out-of-the-box. Makes some of my compositions look positively ordinary!
But fun. A lot of fun.
Joy Faire Stewart02/02/10
I can see why you're in Masters...read it several times. Love it!
Carol Penhorwood 02/02/10
Absolutely MASTERful! No one can top you for creating word pictures in poetry! Delightful!
stanley Bednarz02/04/10
I love your writing, and the take on evolution. Please do something on the "Grand Canyon," and Noah's flood. Just an idea.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/04/10
You are definitely a Masters. What a fun and entertaining poem. Great job.
Jackie Wilson02/09/10
Delicious, creative, brilliant, as usual!
The Masked Truelovers02/15/10
clever and poetic take on the unending apologetic for creationism.
Margaret Kearley 02/17/10
Beth - have just read this and it is SO brilliant. A wonderful mixture of fantastic humour, a touch of the ridiculous and great truth. (How I wish I could write poetry like that!) Many thanks - just wonderful!
Noel Mitaxa 03/02/10
Brilliant as usual Beth, and thanks for your comment on my (still anonymous) Shh! entry. But did you know why the chicken stopped in the middle of the road?
She wanted to lay it on the line!