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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Ow! (01/07/10)

TITLE: What A Wimpy Little Word Is "Ow"
By Mariane Holbrook


I knew that I shouldn’t have done it;
You’d think I’d have had better sense.
But when you’re a girl who is just nine years old,
You sometimes appear pretty dense.

‘Twas a cold night in early December,
The temperature hit four degrees.
It wasn’t the snow that would bring us all grief
But the rain that turned into a freeze.

I heard the front door as it opened
And looked out to see who was there.
My stark-naked, two-year-old brother was gone,
Enjoying the frigid night air.

My dad quickly came from the kitchen;
No time for his coat or his hat.
My dad was a bit on the corpulent side;
You’ll notice I didn’t say “fat.”

He ran out the door after Johnny
Who waved as he looked back at Dad.
Dad told him to stop but the ice was such fun
And he didn’t know Daddy was mad.

I stood on the porch by the railing
And watched this whole scene with delight.
I cheered for my brother, so agile and swift,
And I laughed when my daddy took flight.

The road was an icy disaster
When Dad’s feet went up in the air.
He slid on his back for a good twenty feet,
Then, “Ow! Ow!” he cried out in despair.

I ran down the street for my brother
And wrapped him up tight in my shirt,
Then hurried back up to help Dad to his feet
And make sure that his back wasn’t hurt.

Back home Mother gave us hot chocolate
Until we were warmed up once more.
I saw that my Dad was quite angry with me;
It was something I could not ignore.

They took me upstairs to their bedroom;
I knew what was coming to me.
I whispered an “ow” which was all I would say
While my Dad had me over his knee.

“My dear,” Mother said, feigning sadness;
I saw she was giggling inside.
“We never should laugh when we see others fall;
Far more things could be hurt than their pride.”

I told Mom that Dad never hurt me
But his spankings just dragged on, somehow.
“He’s trying to teach you a lesson,” Mom said,
“So say something stronger than ‘ow.’”

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This article has been read 659 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Helen Dowd01/14/10
Great lesson on "OW". I remember that my word was "SORRY". I thought that THAT might stop a well-deserved spanking. Oh, that spanking wasn't such a taboo thing these days. We all grew up quite normal, didn't we? Many an "OW" happened in our childhood....Great poem, and so funny. Bet that DAD is laughing about the incident now....Loved the poem...Helen
Noel Mitaxa 01/14/10
This is good fun stuff; but should you say something stronger rather than singing something happier - like "Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow!" ???
Verna Cole Mitchell 01/14/10
What fun! This delightful poem took me back to journeys and "Ow's" in my own childhood. I bet this precocious little one didn't laugh at Dad again! I enjoyed relearning the author's lesson. Great job.
Lynda Schultz 01/14/10
Great poem, great lesson.
Rachel Phelps01/16/10
Beth LaBuff 01/16/10
Great story! and so well-written! Loved it!
What a beautiful poem story that reminds me of Ham, Noah's last son. And you make poetry look simple and easy. Your last line is my favourite; although some(how) and (ow) do not rhyme. I admire your mastery and flow of narration.
Dee Yoder 01/17/10
Well, what do you know? I thought I was the only child who realized a magic word could end a paddling early! Very cute and funny!
Joy Faire Stewart01/18/10
Loved the easy flow and you captured the child's voice perfectly. Very engaging!
Catrina Bradley 01/18/10
I found it ironic that mom was holding back laughter when telling her child not to laugh at another's pain. :)
Sarah Elisabeth 01/18/10
this was so cute! loved it
Mona Purvis01/18/10
What you are able to do with rhyme! On topic and just a joy to read.
Such fun.

Kristi Peifer01/18/10
I love the playful tone of this piece!
The story brings back similar memories from my own childhood.
Jackie Wilson01/18/10
Vividly told, and fun to read! The poetic style fit the tale very well.
Chely Roach01/18/10
As always, your poetry is clever and entertaining. The ending made me laugh out loud. Great job:)
Jim McWhinnie 01/18/10
Such a charming bit of family drama.
Carol Penhorwood 01/18/10
You are a master!

I'm reminded of a time when it was all I could do to administer a spanking when one of our wee ones said, "I'll just remember my Bible verse: Fear not, for I am with thee."
Julie Seeto01/18/10
Loved your little poem. Hope Dad wasn't hurt too much!
Jesus Puppy 01/19/10
Sorry... I would have laughed too. :-D
Carole Robishaw 01/20/10
Loved this! Been there, done that, totally enjoyed reading about it.
Edy T Johnson 01/21/10
I can just imagine Johnny Cash singing this. You are such a balladeer, Mariane! Your delightful stories coupled with your poetic talents is such an unbeatable combination.