The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
09/10/09
Wow. It's so hard to believe other countries work children like this and in our country, too - not that long ago. I love the spunk of this woman to feed the children, both physically and spiritually. Great writing.
I like the contrast between Jonas and Sylvia--opposites atracting? I also enjoyed the demonstration of the living and active Word.
09/12/09
Oooh, this had a very modern-day (at least 20th century) Dickens feel, but with a lovely Christian message. You did an amazing job of establishing such different characters in so few words. I also love titles that give you that aha moment after you have read it;) Fantastic.
09/13/09
You said so much here! Sylvia is a superb character, and my heart ached for those little children. Very well done!
I was cheering for the wife that stood up to her less-than-compassionate spouse...and for her kind heart. Great job.
This heartbreaking story is masterfully written. The contrast between Jonas and Sylvia is a perfect example of good vs evil. The last line proved that poor Jonas didn't have a clue.
I feel sorry for Jonas, an unhappy man who can't bear to see anyone else content.Liked contrast between Jonas and his wife and also between the Nielson brats and the other kids. Christians should be different.
Very well written. And was not surprised at the clueless nature of Jonas...egg salad can't cause that kind of change, but God's Word definitely can.
09/14/09
A very interesting scenario with just the right dose of compassion to alleviate the harshness of childhood servitude.
I stumbled over the line early on that read "learning abilities fell below the standard required". To me this came across as atypical of Jonas and a bit too technical for the style of writing. One to ponder...
You have touched on a theme I so believe in - windows of heaven are opened, our lives touched by angels unaware - they of faith that give us hope. Very inspiring story that seems to show as well the historical and present redundancy of good verses evil, apathy vs. concern.
09/15/09
Thank God for angels like Sylvia that offset people like Jonas. Her kindnesses coupled with God's words certainly changed the lives of some. Great storytelling.
Sylvia is really something. What a great story, Cat, but I've come to expect that from you! This story is another reason you keep climbing up the ladder to literary success with little effort. Oh, to have that gift! I love everything you write and this story is wonderful! Just like you! Kudos!
09/16/09
Oh boy, I love this story! So much is written in these paragraphs. This is excellent, Cat! You brought this era and these characters to life. I could read a whole book about the people you introduced us to in this short story. Wow.
Congratulations on your EC. I wasn't surprised to see it place so high. Excellent writing!
09/17/09
I would not have pegged Sylvia to be Jonas' wife... that surprised me... I was touched by her compassion for the child workers. Lovely story. Congratulations on your EC.
09/17/09
Congrats, Cat! I'm so pleased this received an EC!
Congratulations on your EC! Your story is well-crafted, and the characters come to life, with just the right mixture of hope and sorrow.
09/18/09
So what was all your fretting about the muse? This is excellent. Congratulations on the EC.