The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/15/09
Enjoyed this story. I love trees, love to think about them and all they've witnessed. Well-written, very descriptive.
Mona
I love the vivid pictures that your words painted in this entry. You did a masterful job in bringing the story of this old tree to life. Well done my FaithWriter friend. Well done!
05/17/09
I love the descriptions, and the personification of the tree. You brought her to life. I'm wondering why you reverted to referring to her as "it" in the last paragraph; I think it would have been a more powerful ending if you had continued the personification. I wouldn't have been as patient as the mom when her daughter wasn't as excited as she was about the tree. Good job on the characters - the little girl in particular was very realistic.
05/18/09
I like the idea that this very same conversation could have taken place between the main character and HER mother. Some lovely vibrant descriptive language.
My one reservation would be with regard to your use of dialogue. I appreciate that you're deliberately using a specific style rather than the conventional way of attributing speech. But I found some of the back and forth dialogue a little strained at points and I wonder if the odd "she said" might have helped to smooth it out a little. See what you think. Bless you.
You roped me in with your first paragraph of wonderful description. The little girl was very real in this story with such a great message.
05/18/09
I always enjoy reading your beautifully descriptive writing style. Wonderful entry.
05/18/09
This is so sweet and descriptive. I love big trees! Well done.
05/19/09
Sweet and lovely. I could see the pair looking at the marvelous oak. Wonderful.
05/20/09
I'd love to see the BIG TREE. We have some old pines around here that my children call the elephant trees. What great memories!
05/20/09
Very strong in your descriptions, Betty--I easily get impatient with lengthy descriptive passages, but you kept my interest throughout.

In a few places, where Alicia is talking, you started a new paragraph even when she was the one continuing to talk. That threw me off a little bit, because I thought the little girl was talking next.

This was sweet, and the dialogue was very authentic. I enjoyed this a lot.
05/20/09
Your descriptions were beautiful, excellent choices that brought colour, motion and form to mind. Sweet story as well, even better that the Big Tree is real!
05/20/09
I enjoyed this story about a mum, a daughter and a famous old tree. It certainly could tell a story, being around for hundreds of years. Thanks for sharing.

Colin
Beautifully and skillfully done. Setting, dialogue, characters, plot and words in the hands of a master story teller!
A beautiful story with great mother/daughter dialogue. I wish all parents would pass on the importance of God's natural creations. Love it.
I so enjoyed this! We have live oaks here on our island but nothing quite this big. But, Betty, your descriptive phrases just bowled me over! I savored each one, paused, thought how effortlessly you put it together to form something so interesting as a portrait of this very old tree which, if it could talk, could tell stories we wouldn't believe. My friend, your writing gets better with every entry. I kid you not!