‘Twas just a sunny afternoon, no different from the others;
I’d rather have been swimming, if I could have had my druthers.
The heat was so oppressive as John wiped off his last golf club
That all my body begged for was a soaking in my bathtub.
We had a little cockapoo, so different from the others;
Part cocker spaniel mixed with poodle, same breed as my brother’s.
His dog was just the cutest thing, so I saved all my money.
The sale price called for so much cash, it wasn’t even funny.
We named our puppy Missy and she hit the ground a-running.
This little ball of fur was both adorable and cunning.
She loved to chew John’s underwear til they were torn and tattered.
John scolded til his face turned blue, not that it really mattered.
So, on this hot and humid day, I climbed into my bathtub.
I couldn’t wait to soak awhile then have a hearty back rub.
I heard John in the kitchen getting ice out from the ice tray;
He usually had a Pepsi and I hoped he’d bring one my way.
I heard him yell, “I’ll be right back. I’m headed for the drug store.”
I listened for both doors to shut but only heard the screen door.
“Oh, rats!” I murmured to myself for this was unexpected.
“I’d better go and lock the door; I feel so unprotected.”
I draped a towel around myself while Missy danced around me.
She thought it was a game we’d played since she was just a baby.
As I approached the kitchen door and reached across to close it,
My darling dog pulled off my towel and ran with it, that bandit.
I froze, cemented to the spot; no thought of an escape plan,
For standing three feet from me stood our favorite UPS man.
I willed myself to move but I was gripped by dire confusion;
He turned so pale I wondered if he’d need a blood transfusion.
I leaped back from the door, ashamed of what I’d gotten into,
And asked the frightened older man, “Sir, how much do I owe you?”
He dropped the package on the step, and sprinted down the driveway.
The only thing on this man’s mind was, “How can I get sick pay?”
I tried to reach him after that but heard he’d been committed.
I wanted to explain to him but I was not permitted.
I didn’t spank my doggy and I didn’t make her holler.
I picked her up and held her close, then took off her flea collar.
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