Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Uncles/Aunts (04/17/08)
TITLE: Entertained an Alien Unaware
By Beth LaBuff
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T-plus one nanosecond after the final bell
Location: Third grade classroom – Orson Wells Elementary School
The long awaited day arrived.
Their schooling was on hold.
The lectures would cease and desist
With kids summer paroled.
Joe and Sis had plans to shop
That afternoon at three
For snacks and junk to celebrate
Their summer liberty.
T-plus seven minutes and twenty-eight seconds after the school bell
Location: Convenience Store on Maple Street
With treats in hand, they sought to pay,
Their faces overjoyed,
Then headlines blasted out at them
From counter’s rack tabloid.
Joe nudged Sis, his pupils fixed
On details so bizarre –
“Aliens Land from Outer Space”
Was written in The Star.
The paper, gripped with shaking hands,
Their candy ‘twas forgot.
They pooled their funds, purchased The Star --
The only item bought.
T-plus twenty-one minutes after The Star purchase
Location: The clubhouse in the backyard where Joe and Sis read The Star
“Reports from unknown sources say,
Strange sightings that occurred
Were witnessed in the northern sky
Yesterday, on the third.”
“Apparently a U-F-O,”
More details were revealed,
“Was seen stealthily hovering,
Then landed in a field.”
“Our sources,” he continued on
To read The Star tabloid,
“Said aliens that disembarked
Looked oddly humanoid.”
“Observers said the aliens had
Eyelids that wouldn’t close.
And if encompassed in their stare,
Then you would be quick-froze.”
“Another oddity observed
By people in the know,
‘We think they have an allergy
To liquid H2O’ .”
“More witnesses offered these facts,
‘Victims, grabbed by their thumbs,
Were swallowed headfirst, whole, unpeeled,
Leaving the toenail crumbs’.”
Their mother interrupted this
Summer’s War of the Worlds.
At her news, The Star was dropped,
Its corner edges curled.
She announced they ‘d entertain,
So they must look their best.
Aunt Sue would come for evening’s meal
And bring a dinner guest.
T-minus five minutes until dinner
Location: Joe and Sis’s home
Excitement grew, Aunt Sue arrived --
The evening promised fun,
Until they glimpsed her dinner guest’s
Green tinted complexion.
Sue met him in the morning.
They fell in love at brunch,
Were married in the afternoon --
One hour after lunch.
Most honeymooner’s eyes are starred,
They bask in wedded bliss.
But Aunt Sue’s groom seemed zombie-like
And something seemed amiss.
He seemed a trifle statue-like
Eyes open during prayer.
He wouldn’t drink the water
And gave off a cosmic air.
A light went on inside their heads
While eating orange-glazed ham.
Their uncle was an alien,
It finally dawned on them.
T-plus five minutes after the revelation and
T-minus two minutes and fifteen seconds before desert and coffee
Place: formal living room
The kids contrived a rescue plan
Of Nobel prize proportions,
By sprinkling water on their uncle
With clumsy trip contortions.
With patriotic duty
They’d take up their country’s cause.
Perhaps their Uncle Alien
Would melt like the witch from Oz.
Joe carried in the water glass.
With plans to give a flick
Of H2O their uncles way.
He’d have to do it quick.
T-minus one nanosecond before Joe was sent to bed without dessert
Place: the couch in the living room where their aunt and new uncle were seated
But instead of just a sprinkle,
Joe was mesmerized
While looking in those blinkless orbs,
Then Uncle got baptized.
T-plus eight hours and thirty minutes after Joe was grounded for life
Place: the breakfast table
Day’s dawn found them at breakfast
Where they became aware
Their Mom’s response to questions was
Only a vacant stare.
What happened to their family’s
Morning meal routine?
And duct tape cordoned off the sink
Evoking a crime scene.
The commencement of their summer
Saw events that were surreal,
Since discovering their uncle was an
Note: While we encourage you to entertain angels unaware, we strongly recommend that you refrain from entertaining an alien uncle unaware due to the potential hazard to your family.
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