The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
03/07/08
Well, you certainly can't get more extremely than this "dark cloud" and the subsequent "silver lining"! As graphic as this is, I think it's also very realistic, and the juxtaposition of the horrific and the splendrous is all the more riveting. This isn't a piece of writing that one can breeze mindlessly through--and the last 5 words redeem it, as He redeemed us.
Ewww, I can smell it! I could only skim this, but the last sentence was awesome (lol).
I will definitely take this image with me - men and women vomiting their lives, spewing them onto the ground. The image conveys how deep the disciples' grief must have been, and how they must have doubted, during those days before their Messiah rose. Not an easy read, but truth isn't always easy to take in. And the silver lining to come - a perfect ending.
03/11/08
Well, this was NOT an easy read!! (did I mention that I'm about to sit down to supper? LoL) The last line saves it. I'm so very thankful--in more ways than one!
03/11/08
My first thought was, "This is gross," and then when I finished I thought, "Not particularly creative, 'cause we all know the 'ultimate' silver lining story."

But then I realized that I didn't know the story the way you told it. I never actually thought about the realities of what the disciples went through--and your writing sure brought those realities to life.

Very good descriptions, and very creative retelling (or telling) of the day after.