The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/10/08
Very visual piece - all the business with the cigarette and the motorcycles and locked doors. Intriguing characters - especially Kat. I could sense Sassy's uneasiness and feel the hardness around Kat.

I found myself wanting to know more about Sassy's thoughts at the end. This is part of a larger story. It wants to break out of the 750 word limit.
02/10/08
I could feel Sassy's nervousness and unease. The prayer meeting was a big surprise--what a contrast!
02/11/08
Moody, suspenseful, well done.
02/11/08
I like this piece. You really captured the mood well.
02/11/08
Some excellent lines. I like the tone you created in this piece. Very good. God bless.
At first reading this had the overtones of "Rebel Without a Cause". Upon getting more into it, I was rewarded more by the dept of the message and some of your descriptive passages (i.e. the cigarette) were superb.
Great job.
02/13/08
Hmmm, the question of Kat indeed, I liked your descriptions and especially the name of "Sassy", there was one typo, I think it was supposed to be "ground" and not "grown" correct? Othewise, good stuff! ^_^
I liked the voice and the style of writing. Descriptions were believable. Nice job!
02/13/08
You have style!! Love the way you tell a story! Fantastic!
02/13/08
Sassy and Kat. Love the names! Well written piece, thanks!