Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "A Man is Known by the Company He Keeps" (without using the actual phrase). (01/31/08)
TITLE: A Recipe for Ruin
By Karen Wilber
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Makes 1 Serving
The key to preparing a good Ruin is the selection of the proper ingredients. For best results, the subject should be as tender and fresh as possible. A more mature subject may have acquired a crusty exterior, making it more difficult to prepare, though it is possible to do so by increasing the amount of selected ingredients.
This dish is capable of many variations, each one delicious in its own way. Our favorite combination is given below.
A note on the preparation: While it is possible for people to fall into Ruin, the resulting dish is much tastier if the subject chooses be part of the entree.
Separate subject from as many good influences as possible. Set aside influences to use later in Regret Stew, p. 243. Any remaining residue of goodness will be boiled away during the cooking process.
Heart and mind
Set aside mind and thoroughly drain good judgment. Reserve heart for later use.
3 or more meetings with disreputable friend(s)
The selection and combination of friends is critical to the success of this recipe. Friends should appear rotten on the outside. However, modern preservation methods may conceal a rotten core in attractive flesh or decorative packaging. For best results, examine core for rottenness as well.
Alcohol until inhibitions are dissolved.
Leave unsupervised at least 6 hours, preferably overnight.
Place mixture in preheated pan and add any of the following ingredients:
1 cup unhealthy desire (whatever is in season)
1/3 cup selfishness
3 Tbs greed
1/2 tsp vanity
1/4 tsp cruelty
Minced laziness (to taste)
Turn up heat until mixture boils. When subject appears ready, add additional disreputable friends. Continue adding friends until mixture thickens. At this point, mixture should be quite dense.
Reduce heat to low. Cover and simmer until character is reduced by half.
Remove cover and stir subject and friends thoroughly. During the final few minutes of cooking you may be able to remove and discard the backbone.
1/4 cup lies or reduced-calorie half-truths
Fold finished subject into mixture of persons of wholesome character. You’ll know the Ruin is complete when introduction of subject produces a bad aftertaste.
Serve garnished with Deviled Heart, p. 489.
-Excerpted from The Devil’s Cookbook, 23rd edition.
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