The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/13/07
The child's dialog is so authentic! I had to laugh at "He doesn't give you nice clothes". Such an original story line, too.
12/14/07
A touching entry, and how sad that the King is back in His castle for only a moment, ie, while three gathering in His name were praying there.
My first reaction is 'Ouch'. Next I pray the spark will reignite the fire lost in the cathedral. This one certainly makes me check my heart. Very original and timely piece.
12/16/07
This absolutely took my breath away, and I have to thank you for writing it.
12/18/07
Joanne, this is one of my favorites of yours. No red ink from me; this is excellent!
12/18/07
I can't find anything to red ink. With stories like this, no wonder you're in "Masters". The dialogue propels the story along so that the reader "gets it" along with Rachel and Becky. You managed to work in the "building" and the "people" in the church theme. Excellent!!
12/18/07
Lovely story. And it beautifully illustrated how to get the King back into his castle. Good lesson
Oh my. This is stunningly wonderful, and true. Very well done.
This is so touching and it blessed my heart. Well done.
12/18/07
Beautiful, Joanne. You've created realistic characters with the dialogue and descriptions. This also has a message the church needs to hear. (Love the title!)
12/18/07
Nicely done. Red ink wise, I'd love more prose instead of dialogue all the time. It was heart-warming to have the boy be so assured of his status with God.
What a great title and concept to remember, as well!
What a tender story. And so well told! Good job!
Wow - this holds so much! It's tender and beautiful ... the image of the two women outside the church made the story read like an allegory, the women symbolic of the King's purpose, as well as the young boy. I absolutely LOVED this.... LOVED IT!!
12/19/07
I love the fairy-tale feel to this! It is so beautiful. I liked the bit where Becky said "He doesn't give you very nice clothes." That was just so real and it showed her spunky personality.

RED PEN: I didn't see a whole lot to 'nitpick' here, but I think the note where Rachel wept, should be one paragraph. I almost missed it. ^_^ Good job.
A slice of everyday life, if we would but open our eyes and hearts to see and hear. I liked the flow of this and was thorougly engaged as I walked down the path it took me through.
12/19/07
Sweet story! I liked the excitement of Becky and Michael's insistance.
Great writing.
12/19/07
The character of Rachel is so true to life, great writing!
12/19/07
This is really sweet. Excellent dialogue, and good character development in so few words. Very nice job with the topic.
12/20/07
From title to end, this story really touched my heart. Just beautiful.
12/21/07
Fabulous article Jo Ann. There is a verse that comes to mind that says it is the sick that need a physician, not the healthy. God is where people are open to Him, and many times that is among the poor and destitute.

There is another scripture that comes to mind that says if we see a brother in need of food and clothes, and all we say is go be warmed and filled; I'll pray for you, our faith is dead. I'm glad you put the part about offering the woman's scarf. Just some addes thoughts.

God bless and I look foward to reading more of your writings Jo Ann...Sincerely Randy
07/24/15
brilliant just brilliant great child responses exciting and honest and an anxious mum looking on brilliant piece of writing