The Official Writing Challenge
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This was a wonderful journey to the past--the descriptions just right. I loved the read.
11/29/07
Lovely story.
I loved the simple straightforward not too flowery voice. I also liked that there was always something "doing" throughout the story. It drew me in away and held my interest to the end. Nice polish. Good work~
11/30/07
I love this line:

"And God has called me to be generous.”

That is a gift that too many people don't understand is a true gift from God.

Very good writing, and a great picture of two important spiritual gifts.
11/30/07
Very well written.
12/03/07
Loved the last lines here! This was great with plenty of action and no lazing around with details here and there. I really liked it!
12/03/07
I love the setting, especially inside the general store. The ending was a little too 'convenient', not really believable. Too bad you had to keep it under 750 words!It would be a great story.
12/03/07
Very charming! Super job with the era and with personality development of your characters.
12/03/07
Excellent job! I enjoyed the setting and the set-up. Good stuff. God bless.
12/03/07
I liked this story so much. It felt like I could actually watch it like an episode on television. Your ending was perfect.
12/03/07
Wonderful story. I would like to read the whole adventure! I like the way you incorporated a past, and a hint of a future in a few words; it fleshes out the characters beautifully.
Oh, I just love this! So many words come to mind: charming, delightful, sweet. I could picture the whole scene in my mind. I loved the comment about being called to be generous. Bravo!
I enjoyed the western setting of the story, the details, and the message. Very enjoyable story!
12/04/07
I loved it. Your details presented the setting just right.
12/04/07
Well, I certainly hope she gets to live happily ever after!! I loved the hint of romance here and the compassion shown by the characters. Being generous is certainly a gift--great job! Hugs!
12/04/07
Lovely! I was drawn right in to the characters. So descriptive...and a great message as well!
12/04/07
Just lovely. Wonderful job setting the scene and with characterization. This is a rich, beautiful piece, my friend!
How did you get so much emotion into 750 words besides what everyone has said? Rebecca's embarrassing frustration over finances, anxiety for the future, joy for blessings, feminine thrill over a compliment... the storekeeper's conflict to help without the means... a matter-of-fact disconnect from the blacksmith... desperation, protectiveness, gratitude, then sweet surrender to God from Mr. Sneed's sister... loved it:)
You have such a gift for getting so much written in so few words. This was very touching, expressive, and written so well. I loved it.
12/05/07
Very well crafted. You built up the tension very well. The most gripping piece I have read so far.
Excellent story. Great fit for the topic, as well. I echo the comments above with how much you have woven into the story with charcterization and emotion. Another wonderful piece.
12/06/07
Great structure and writing throughout to work in the topic of the week.
Red pen:
Re: Flatness - any flatness comes from the beginning not hooking in quickly enough and the ending, therefore, doesn't have the tension of a full release. The opening paragraph is a great description, but doesn't account for the problem. We wait for the problem and immediately see circumstances at hand that can solve the problem, so I, as a reader, never feared that all would work out for her in the end. This causes a limited empathy for the MC.
Technical:
Maybe too good. This sentence: "The first thing he saw was Rebecca’s green eyes staring back at him, and he spoke. “You’re lovely.” is perfect, but not smooth. Something like 'Rebecca's caring, green stare met his awakening eyes. He spoke...' may remove the singular vs. plural issues at hand in the sentence.
Overall:
What a great story. The plot is quick and the setting is rich, as is the presentation of this week's topic.
12/06/07
I enjoyed this story. It is a good example of the gift of generosity, but I think the story would have entered a deeper level should the main character had anointed the sick person with oil, and seen him healed as a result, ie, the Gift of Healing.