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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Sunday School (10/25/07)

TITLE: Silver Heads and Golden Misdeeds
By Betty Castleberry
10/27/07


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Memo to Agape Chapel Sunday School teachers:

It has come to my attention that some of you have grievances that you would like aired. While it might be more efficient to meet in person, my schedule does not allow it at this time. Hopefully this memo will clear up anything that requires immediate action.

Apparently, there seems to be one class that is the focus of some concerns. Mrs. Jacobs, that would be your class. It is not my intention to be The Gestapo. However, I feel it is pertinent to address these concerns.

Several people have noticed a lot of noise coming from your classroom. It has gotten so bad that it has become quite distracting. I’m not exactly sure what you’re doing in there, but the sound has been described as a “rumbling” or “growling” noise. There have even been a few reports of high pitched squeals from time to time. One concerned party said she saw John Thomas climbing out the window. It may be time for you to re-examine your discipline skills.

As far as the coffee and doughnuts you offer, that is a very generous and kind thing to do. I must ask you to stop this practice, though. The doughnuts don’t really seem to be a big problem, but the coffee is a different story. Half of the choir was late getting into the sanctuary last week as a result of the long lines outside the restrooms. Harriett Miller didn’t get to visit the ladies room at all last Sunday, but she did claim it was a blessing in disguise. She felt that crossing her legs actually seemed to help squeeze out the high notes in her “Blessed Assurance” solo.

I hope you all understand the purpose of this memo. Mrs. Jacobs, it is not meant to single you out, only to shed light on some issues. It is my fondest hope that these issues will be addressed and corrected.

Sincerely,

Monty Wiggins, Sunday School Superintendent

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Mr. Wiggins,

It is MY fondest hope that you read this reply very carefully. I am doing the best I can. I am 60 years old, and I am the “youngster” in my class.

The “rumbling” and growling” noises you hear coming from my class is Brother Samuel. He is taking a powerful blood pressure medication that zonks him. By the end of the opening prayer, he’s snoring like a jack hammer. We have tried repeatedly to wake him, but he only stirs, and swats Sister Beth, who sits beside him. That always elicits a protest from her, which is no doubt the source of the squeal that has been reported to you. I will admit that one day Brother Lawrence was feeling a bit, shall we say, frisky, and squeezed Sister Oma’s knee. She smacked his hand and made a high-pitched noise, so it’s possible that was one of the squeals that were heard.

Brother John Thomas climbs out of the window on a regular basis. He does it to demonstrate that his joints are still well oiled and working properly. You will recall that the window is placed low, and requires a lot of bending to open it. He is very proud that he can twist his aged frame like a contortionist and climb out. He claims to be taking an herbal supplement that makes him feel 20 years younger. I can’t vouch for the supplement, but he must be doing something right. He won a line dance contest last Saturday. If you want to address the evils of dancing, please speak with him directly.

The coffee and doughnuts are a small gesture from me that the class seems to enjoy. May I suggest we use some of the funds set aside for emergencies and add another restroom or two? I can’t think of a better emergency to use the money for.

As far as discipline, surely you jest. I don’t know what I could do. They are certainly too old to spank, if corporal punishment was even allowed. Shall I take away their bran cereal?

I realize you are just doing your job. I also have to do mine. Please advise the other teachers that they are welcome to visit our class any time. Once the naps and fitness demonstrations are over, I think they would agree that my class has some of the most delightful and sincere Christians they have ever come across.

Blessings,

Mrs. Jacobs


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This article has been read 998 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sheri Gordon11/01/07
This is very cute. Your descriptions of the senior class participants makes me want to be a fly on the wall. It sounds like a lively Sunday school class. Nice, fun job with the topic.
Kristen Hester11/03/07
This is a lot of fun. I'd love to visit the class myself.
Therese Witkus11/03/07
The story is fun and the people are characters.
The memo style is a fresh way to tell the story.
Laury Hubrich 11/03/07
I'm doing so much giggling tonight! How very funny! I love the memo style you used -- very clever. You hit one out of the ballpark, I do believe!
Laury
Leigh MacKelvey11/03/07
I hope I will be just like those seniors when I get to their age! this was so enjoyable to read. Great job!
Sandra Petersen 11/04/07
This is a real jewel! The first letter from the Superintendent borders on rude. I thought the class was perhaps a disobedient group of fifth or sixth graders.

What an excellent response Mrs. Jacobs gave and what a twist to find that her class was composed of senior citizens. I laughed out loud several times. Excellent humor.
Jan Ackerson 11/04/07
Absolutely delightful!
Joy Faire Stewart11/04/07
This is a delight. Love the contrast between the two memos and the descriptions are so vivid your reader can picture the characters.
Christine Dunn11/04/07
Very funny - I laughed when I finally realised the age of the class being taught. This was unique too.
Verna Cole Mitchell 11/04/07
Excellent humor. I'm afraid I'm almost ready for that class!
Sharlyn Guthrie11/04/07
What a fun read! I thought the rumbling sounds were going to be growling stomachs because mine always does that in Sunday school! I loved all the vivid images you evoked in each memo.
LaNaye Perkins11/04/07
I really loved this one and want to go to this Sunday school class too! I also loved the humor in your story. It made your entry such a fun read! Well Done!
Joanne Sher 11/05/07
I'm still laughing. I love how you set us up for one thing and led us to another (though I WAS wondering why she was feeding coffee to kids!). Some of the best lines are in the second letter - I love the idea of punishing "the elderly" by taking away their bran cereal!
This piece is SO you, Betty! I WUV it!
LauraLee Shaw11/06/07
What a fun read! Very creative piece.
Pam Carlson-Hetland11/07/07
ROFL (we need emoticons for the comments). I missed the title until the comment box popped up. How perfect! I, too, thought you were describing an elementary age class until the 2nd "memo". This is absolutely priceless. I used to lead an adult singles class. The Sunday School superintendent had to put us in the far corner in the basement because of the laughter. I can relate. What a gem! Such a gifted writer!
Brenda Welc11/07/07
Hee hee, this was awesome! Great way to get into the Sunday School story! I loved it, Great job getting your point across! Keep up the great writing!
Patty Wysong11/07/07
So fun!! I was wondering what on earth was going on in that classroom, and the 'response' was terrific! Your humor is terrific! Hugs!! :-)
Beth LaBuff 11/07/07
I started cracking up when reading about dear "Harriett Miller", poor thing. :) And then her Blessed Assurance solo!! This was great and VERY entertaining! I loved it!
Loren T. Lowery11/07/07
: ) : ) : ) thank-you for the delightful chuckle today. I could certainly use it. And, like a any good morsel of chocolate candy, it had a morsel of truth inside!
Sheri Gordon11/08/07
Congratulations on your much deserved EC. This is one of my favorites.
Therese Witkus11/08/07
Congratulations on the EC, you richly deserve the honor.
Karen Wilber 11/08/07
This is hysterical! Congrats on your EC.