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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Bold (emotionally) (08/30/07)

TITLE: Two Hungry Mice
By Betty Castleberry
09/05/07


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The rhythmic thundering stopped near the hole. Pip eased toward the tiny opening and peeked out. “Squeak,” he whispered. “It’s the lady again. She’s putting something in Slink’s dish.”

Squeak scurried up beside his brother. His little round eyes grew wider. “It’s cheese. I hope Slink leaves us a crumb.”

“Nah. I think that cat’s really a pig. Look, here he comes now, and he’s already gobbling it down.”

The two little mice stood in the shadows of their hole, watching Slink devour the cheese. The thundering sound started again as the lady walked away.

Slink lifted his head from his dish and licked his whiskers. With a swish of his tail, he made his way to the place where Pip and Squeak were hiding. Slink swatted at the small opening. His paw was just a little too big to reach inside. He yawned and settled down for a nap in front of the hole.

Pip and Squeak could not get out. Slink was blocking their way to freedom and food. Pip’s little black nose wiggled as he sniffed the air. “I smell food, and I’m hungry. We have to find a way out.”

Squeak thought for a minute. “Can’t we just climb over him?”

“We’ll wake him up. I don’t want to be his dessert. We’ll have to think of something else.”

Squeak scampered back and forth, still thinking. “I guess we’ll just have to wait until he wakes up.”

“Slink always sleeps for hours.” Pip’s sat up on his hind legs. “I still smell cheese.” His tiny black eyes darted around, trying to find the source of the delicious fragrance. He focused on a golden chunk stuck on the end of Slink’s whisker.

He laughed, unable to contain his excitement.

Squeak looked up at Pip. “What is it?”

“Look at Slink’s whisker. There’s a huge piece of cheese on it. He must have missed it.”

The two little mice joined hands and spun around in a frenzied dance.

Pip stopped suddenly and faced Squeak. “But we have to get that piece of cheese without waking Slink.”

“Oh.” Squeak dropped his head in disappointment. “What if Slink never leaves? What will we do?”

“He will have to leave sometime, won’t he?”

Squeak was afraid that they might starve.

Pip grinned. “I know, Squeak. I’ll grab the cheese real quick and then just run right back in here.”

Squeak’s lip quivered. “That’s dangerous. Why should you do that?”

“I should do it because I’m the oldest.”

Squeak started to cry. “Please don’t do that.”

Pip didn’t let Squeak see him looking at Slink‘s big paws. He knew Slink could stick his deadly claws out whenever he wanted to. He also knew he had to take care of his little brother.
“Don’t worry, we’ll think of something.”

The two little mice watched as Slink stirred and rested his paw against the hole. Pip reached through the hole and ever so gently touched Slink’s paw. He didn’t move.

Pip grinned. “Did you see that, Squeak. He didn‘t know I touched him.”

Squeak smiled. “Do it again.”

This time Pip applied a little more pressure. Slink still didn’t move. “I think I could stand on Slink’s paw and reach that cheese. I wouldn’t have to climb over him at all. If you hold onto my tail, I can stretch up and reach the cheese. Then you could pull me back in real quick.”

Squeak looked doubtful. “What if I don’t pull you fast enough?”

“Are you hungry?

Squeak nodded.

“Then I can do it. I know I can. Just hold my tail real tight.”

Squeak held Pip’s tail as tight as he could. “Now I’m going to be real quiet and climb out onto Slink’s paw. When you see me grab the cheese, pull me in.”

“Okay, Pip. I’ll try.”

Pip stepped lightly onto Slink’s paw and stretched up to his whiskers. He grabbed the piece of cheese and tugged. Slink yowled and Squeak pulled on Pip’s tail with all of his might. Pip landed on his bottom, back inside the hole, the cheese in his tiny hands.

Squeak squealed with delight. “You are so brave.”

Slink meowed in protest and batted at the hole. Pip and Squeak giggled and settled down for their feast, just out of reach of Slink’s sharp claws.


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This article has been read 906 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Patty Wysong09/07/07
You called this bad?!? I loved it! and I'm still snickering! :-) I was hoping Slink (I love that name!) would get plucked like that--for sleeping in front of their door. lol) Great, fun story for bold. Hugs!! :-)
Verna Cole Mitchell 09/07/07
Charming story--not cheesy a bit. (Sorry, I couldn't resist.) Your mice are drawn so sympathetically that I like them and I DON'T EVEN LIKE MICE. Good job!
Verna Cole Mitchell 09/07/07
Charming story--not cheesy a bit. (Sorry, I couldn't resist.) Your mice are drawn so sympathetically that I like them and I DON'T EVEN LIKE MICE. Good job!
LaNaye Perkins09/07/07
what an adorable children's tale. You did such a great job on this!
Joanne Sher 09/07/07
Cute and fun! I also love the name "Slink" for a cat. This is a great little children's story. Definitely fits the topic.
Pat Guy 09/07/07
I soooo agree that it's a reaaly cute children's story and I think it's very well written in this genre so kudos to you on that one!

I LOVE all the names and the progression of events and that the cat got foiled! Woohoo! ;)
Amy Michelle Wiley 09/07/07
Haha, fun story! We have some bold mice around my house. UG.
Marita Vandertogt09/08/07
The Adventures of Pip and Squeek... they would make a great children's story series... - this was absolutely delightful to read!!
Sharlyn Guthrie09/08/07
Being a cat lover, I was halfway rooting for Slink, but then it wouldn't have ended so well. This is very cute and well-written.
Dee Yoder 09/09/07
I love this innocent, charming story. It has adventure, just the right kind for a child, and fun, and it has two really lovable little characters! I felt like I was watching a really good cartoon. The kind they used to make years ago with great story lines and sweet endings.
Kristen Hester09/10/07
Those were two BOLD mice. I have to admit that food can be a big motivator to me also, but I think it would take chocolate, not cheese, to get me to be so bold.

I loved hearing the two mice talk and discuss their options. I could just picture them, brothers trying to plot and plan. This was so charming. It kept me on the edge of my seat. I really, really enjoyed it.
Sara Harricharan 09/10/07
Cute! This was so fun, especially the names, Pip & Squeak. Lol. I liked how they worked together to get the cheese and were able to safely enjoy it in the end. Good job! ^_^ I can just see this as a Tom and Jerry kind of cartoon.
Jacquelyn Horne09/11/07
Now THAT was a bold move. Really cute story. Children should love it. I can see it as a child's cartoon. So good.
Marilee Alvey09/11/07
This was a very innovative, creative childrens' tale. I, too, could picture each mouse. I held my breath at the conclusion. How you make us care so much about mice is beyond me! Well, that's writing talent for ya!
Deborah Engle 09/12/07
This was great! Lots of fun to read. This is a storu=y I would love to read to my grandchildren.


Debbie
Brenda Welc09/12/07
This was wonderfully written. I have four cats and I am positvely sure these two mice could pull the wool over each of their eyes. (All four are misfits and seem not to have a clue sometimes) Great writing! Great dialog! Just awesome all around.
Loren T. Lowery09/12/07
I so enjoyed this adventure, it is a fun read with a good message. This kind of writing is what makes many people want to read and yes, believe! Great job.
Teri Wilson09/13/07
Betty, This is so adorable! And the name for the cat is perfect. Loved every word. Blessings, Teri