The Official Writing Challenge
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I felt sorry for Alexandra and wished I could tell her to STOP and felt like giving Brian such a smack! But I didn't really "like" or trust Brenda and Alex either: they seemed sort of sleazy! Guess that means you did your job well!
Enjoyed the comparison of these two sister's lives.
Confidence can be encouraged if the people around you give it to you! If not, then you lose it completely in some cases. Good job of showing us a confident women and one who has lost hers!
07/12/07
The contrast in the lives of these two sisters shows how words and actions can be the source for a spouse to either help grow or wither a mate. Thanks for sharing this story.
Wow! I loved the "back and forth" of this piece. God has truly given you a gift.
This is a creative way to meet the challenge, which I appreciated. I liked how you contrasted the two stories, and how you showed the confidence that one woman had by the contrast.
Keep up the good work!
07/14/07
Excellent showing of confidence and the Lack of it! Skillfully woven together. I think Lexie could have a great marriage if she'd act more confidently. ;-)
07/15/07
Nice story of contrasting situations. I don't
t think you had enough words to develope this the way you would have liked to. From a male perspective, from the info given, I'm not as sympathetic for the other sister as the other commenters. The "bad" hubby might have his own reasons for his actions. You know us guys have to stick together:)
Anyway the story was very well written. God bless.
Your descriptions were so good. I liked good old Brenda's attitude, but I know her sister could have never gotten away with that.
This was a great read.
07/16/07
Neat! I liked the contrast between the two...and the twist of the sisters. I kind of wish there was more to this so I could see what happens next. You kept me reading all the way through. A quick note was the Alex and Alexandra...I almost got confused a few times until I remembered that Alex was the guy and not just short for Alexandra. Just a thought! ^_^
07/17/07
Wonderful job on the parallel structure--this is really food for thought. The only suggestion I'd give is to make the contrast between them even greater--but on the other hand, perhaps you were going for subtle, so I take it back. This is excellent!
07/17/07
Top notch, as it should be.
The way you showed the contrast was superb and the lesson oh so true. Great job.
07/17/07
At first I thought that this was a Left Behind type of story with the nightie on the bed.:) I think the difficulty with writing this kind of duo is that it's next to impossible to get the kind of meat on it that you need in 750 words. That said, I still enjoyed the comparisons.
You used a fresh, creative approach in delivering your message. This is such an excellent example of showing rather than telling. It shines!
07/17/07
Great contrasts and parallels, but I did find it quite confusing to begin with - had to scroll up and down the first three or four paragraphs a few times to get it. From the remarks above, I'm clearly in a minority of one, so I shouldn't worry!!
I did enjoy the story, once I had it worked out, though.
07/17/07
Very well done. The two different lives are so explained so perfectly.
Great dialogue skill! You had me glued to every word! I enjoyed this novel approach to the topic.
07/17/07
I like reading "different" approaches to a topic, and once again, you've come through for me. The more I digest this piece, the more it becomes clear. The attitude with which we treat our spouse (or we are treated) matters tremendously. Great foray into Level 4!!!!
07/18/07
Your approach to delivery your message was very unique. I really enjoyed reading this.
Oh, I really like the contrast and how it was tied together when we learn they are sisters. Very clever. I was confused also with the names. I thought Alex was short for Alexandra. Once I got the names clear, I enjoyed it very much.
A very real look at a very real example of the differences in lives. Well done
07/18/07
LOL If alexandra had been named Vicki you would have named all the persons in my family! All kidding aside this story was masterfully written! Great story content.
07/18/07
This is a very good read. Loved it! :-) Great characters.
07/18/07
I think you did a really good job of capturing the sadness of Alexandra's situation which all to familiar to many.

I sense the sadness of this piece, which is a good thing.

A great one to introduce yourself with Joanne! Kudos to ya girl!

07/18/07
Congratulations Joanne, first time in Master's and your story is Mastercrafted all the way!
Wow!Congrats on writing a great piece hon. I really like this. I could relate to both sisters and their situations and the dialogue was convincing.You've earned your way to Masters for a reason Joanne so don't you sell yourself short gf, this is really a good story.I was waiting for more though and wished we had 2,000 words to work with because this was indulging.:0) GREAT JOB! Janice+-
07/19/07
What a great twist! I thought that the first couple weren't cutting it as well as the second when I started; but then it worked the other way around. Had us fooled.
You really brought the couples to life, which is a sign of a master-writer.
There's a lesson in there somewhere, but I didn't quite grasp it. Was it "How to woo your husband"? or "Be confident!" or none of the above or all of the above?