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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Craft (as in handcraft) (02/08/07)

TITLE: Won't She Love It?
By Amy Michelle Wiley
02/13/07


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It had to be perfect.

Lissy used a ruler to put the smiley-face sticker in the exact middle of the construction paper card. She took an extra big handful of purple sequins as the teacher passed by with the tub. That was Momma’s favorite color. It would match the sparkles of the dresses she wore on the nights she left the house after Lissy was supposed to be in bed. The times she didn’t come back until the hill behind the house was starting to turn pink.

At the desk next to her, Jenna had written “i LOvE mOMm” with a bright red marker, all sloppy across the front of her card. Her mom didn’t care if everything was just right. The artwork reminded Lissy of the sloppy kisses Jenna’s mom would cover the girls with when they came home from school. Jenna’s mom hugged and kissed her kids every day. Lissy liked going to their house.

Lissy started to draw a butterfly on her card, but then thought maybe it would be too much like a bug. A few days ago she had brought a wooly caterpillar inside to show Momma, but she’d screamed and said a bad word. Then Lissy had picked some flowers to try to make up for it. At least Momma had pretended to like those. She’d only thrown them in the garbage when she’d thought Lissy wasn’t looking.

But this card, this card was just perfect. Lissy decided on little swirls for decoration and leaned back to survey her handiwork. Yes, surely Momma would like this. She just had to.

Didn’t she?


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This article has been read 1220 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Karen Deikun02/15/07
Yeah, this was one of those that stops you in your tracks and puts you in the child's place. Good work.
Pat Guy 02/15/07
This happens more than we know. The desire for a child to please - to try and do something that would start a spark of love. You did an excellent job capturing the voice of this desperate little girl. Packed with the hope of a child. Well done.
Joanne Sher 02/18/07
This packed a powerful punch. I ached for the girl. Wow.
Suzanne R02/19/07
So sad ... so poignant ... beautifully written.
Jacquelyn Horne02/19/07
You captured well a child's attempt to draw her mother's love. So sad. Yet, so true.
william price02/21/07
Poor, baby girl:(
A very well written, crisp, sad story. Great job. God bless.
Donna Emery02/21/07
So sad. I just wanted to hug Lissy. I can so relate to the way she felt. Very well done. Thanks for sharing this
Joanne Malley02/21/07
My heart so aches for this sweet, little child. As a mother it saddens my soul. Your entry is concise and well-crafted. Nothing unnecessary but everything that's required for a great story! Blessings, Jo
Jan Ackerson 02/21/07
Every word, including the title, precisely right. I don't know if you considered making the longer, but I'm glad you kept it short--just like a breath, a tiny moment, and we know everything that is important to know about this precious child. Perfect.
Beth Muehlhausen02/21/07
You crammed a lot of punch into a few words, Amy - wow. This also brought back feelings for me, tough ones, sad ones. It is a real clip of a real person's reality. No pretending, no masks.

Good writing, girl.

Betty Castleberry02/21/07
How could a parent not love something so simple and hand made by their own child? You've touched on a sad subject that happens all too often. This was well-written and you said a lot in a short piece.
Sally Hanan02/21/07
Yes, I think it was a great idea ending it exactly where you did, and you cpatured all of the thoughts and emotions a child of that age would have. Well done!
Julie Arduini02/21/07
Tight, great writing. Profound, one of those you remember long after you shut down the computer.
Holly Jensen02/20/08
Man, I wanna know if she liked the card. Write a longer version, please!!!!
Catrina Bradley 04/07/08
Amy, great characterization! I know all about the mom with ever meeting her, and the daughter too. :)