Pain wraps her hot fingers around my middle, twisting, pushing until I scream. My lungs struggle for air. I suck it into my raw throat. “Joe!” The cry that comes from my depths finds only a whisper of breath. I am alone.
If there is one thing I have learned, it is that I am not alone. God, I need You. I’m scared.
Joe is back. I cling to him, sobs wrenching my body. The stress of the last months sweeps down on me, suffocating me. The first moment I had discovered I was pregnant comes back, the shock of an unmarried girl. The fear that Joe would leave. Then the relief of his commitment, overshadowed by the rejection of those around us.
Another contraction interrupts my tears, leaving no room for extra thoughts. I seek my beloved’s eyes, only to find my own fear mirrored. For a moment I doubt, doubt that God was with us, doubt that this is in His plan.
The pain eases for the moment and I lay my clammy hand on Joe’s cheek. It finds wetness. “We are alone.” My voice is raspy. “If anything goes wrong we will loose the baby.”
His hand wraps around mine. His eyes close for what seems forever. When they open, the fear is mingled with something else. Something I have seen often in the last months.
“Faith, Mitzy. That’s all He asks. Hang on a little longer. Trust.”
Come near, my God. Remind me.
Peace surrounds us. For a time I rest. Gather strength.
“You are blessed.” Joe strokes my hair. “This child--” His voice breaks and only his eyes can speak, shining with pride and love.
Forgive me for my doubting.
The pain comes again, stronger. Unbearable. I push. My body strains. Again. Again.
“It’s a boy.” Joe grasps him, cradles him, wetness clinging to them both. Bonding.
I let out a ragged breath. I have done it. We have done it.
A brightness flows through the window, illuminating my husband. Lighting my son. We lean close, three of us together.
“His name,” Joe speaks the words my heart sings, “is Jesus.”
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