The Official Writing Challenge
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11/17/06
Oh wow. I liked the futuristic aspect of this story. Gravity-free air pools and invisibility cloaks. I loved it.
11/17/06
I LOVE the sci-fi flavor of this piece!
11/17/06
Wow - this had such an eerie quality to it. Very intriguing and atmospheric. Loved the sci-fi aspects. (I wonder if I know who did this?) I was afraid for that boy's life from the beginning - but WHO was after him was a total surprise until the very end. So effective!
11/18/06
VERY creative story, and I enjoyed the interplay between heavenly and earthly (or spacely??) things. I think I would have let the reader know from the get-go who the boy was so that the drama was even stronger.
11/18/06
VERY cool!! :) loved the ending.
11/19/06
OOO the thrill of suspence and with a futuristic feel. Keped me glued as always. Very well done..
11/20/06
Master's quality for sure and held my interest throughout! Well-done!
11/20/06
Great message and so masterfully written! The ending was excellent!
11/20/06
Oops...I backspaced on your entry, Amy...Of couse I loved it (see comment I made..) but meant it for Jan's...I'm really not nuts & did realize I'd already commented on yours....loved your ending, too, though
11/20/06
You have SUCH a creative mind! There's a sci-fi book, "Ender's Game" that has a kind of similar anit-grav room, but with a very different function. It's an awesome book; I highly recommend it. Anyway, this was great fun to read, so different from every other entry and very well-written.
11/20/06
WOW! Very interesting! An unique approach and it held my attention from beginning to end. Very good. Thanks for sharing it
11/20/06
Top marks for creativity and suspense. Loved it.
11/21/06
A captivating, creative and very well written story. Great job!
11/22/06
Very creative entry, the pace was wonderful. Thank you for sharing.
11/22/06
Amy this was terrific! I couldn't take my eyes away from the page for a second. Thanks for writing this captivating piece.
11/22/06
To be honest, it took me a while to get into this. At first, when I thought it was a regular pool and lifeguard, I thought you were just trying to be overly dramatic. BUT as soon as I read that it was turning scifi, I loved it! You kept me wondering what was after Paul, whether it'd be supernatural or some odd creature. I loved the twist of it being an assassin trying to kill the president's son. Very cool choice. :)
11/22/06
Great Job...

I was worried about this "watcher". I thought he was after Paul.
11/22/06
This was excellent. I loved the suspense and the way you kept me guessing all the way through.
11/22/06
I really like the beginning and the element of the "unknown" in your story. I realized it was futuristic when I came to "Swimming in water?” Paul giggled. “What for?”

I stumbled over the word "Briloranta" describing Paul's shirt, but am asuuming it must be a brand name? Maybe a name more recognizable to the masses would be better. Also was confused by what actually happened to Paul in the pool.

The "watcher" caught me - I thought he was going to be the bad guy!

Nice job, Amy! And a very captivating read.
11/22/06
Ok...so I'd like to know your secret. Super busy schedule, major committments to FW and the conference among other things, I'm sure, and you write such an incredibly creative and well-thought out article. Definitely a "stand-out" in comparison to all of the others in this level. If I wore a hat, I would be taking it off for you, Amy! Instead I am standing and clapping. Bravo! Encore!
11/22/06
Love it! Out of the box... really well paced. Great work!
11/23/06
Great job creating suspense and keeping the reader's attention. Excellent creative writing.
11/24/06
Great piece of Sci-fi, Amy. Dramtic tension maintained from beginning to end. yeggy