The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
This is precious! The bond between family members is truly a beautiful thing, and you did an excellent job of reminding us of that in this piece. Thank you!
10/12/06
So like a child! You've captured their oblivious innocence so well - it's so precious. Sometimes our children are the only ones who can ease the pain. Good flow - great writing! :)
Reading your work is like watching a movie! The images you create are so clear, it's like I'm actualy there!

I saw the nurse come into the room. I saw the white uniform she wore and the expression on her face when she offered you the ice. I feel like I could pick Danny up in my arms and squeeze him tight, too. You have a gift! Thanks for sharing!
Truly touching. The tears are welling up even now.

Thanks for sharing, and God bless,

Kevin
10/14/06
Excellent!
Wow, but a way with words you have! This is beautiful!
10/16/06
I will just say this... Cool. ;)
10/17/06
I loved the voice in this piece, which was a creative angle for "Fire Fighter." Warmed my heart... Nicely done.
10/17/06
You did a wonderful job of characterization on both characters - and this touched me in a very special way. Perfect title AND final sentence!
10/18/06
This is very sweet, and very nicely done. It touched my heart. Thanks so much for sharing it.
10/18/06
What a touching story. Her pride in her son was almost tangible. Her pain so overwhelming. Wow. Wondered about the word 'up' in this phrase: "aged so much up in that fateful moment" Good work!
10/18/06
A touching story, full of empathy and emotion. Nicely told.
10/18/06
Cute! I really enjoyed reading this, what a story of devotion from a little boy to his mother. Great job!
I love this piece. It is beautifully... poignantly written. My only thought is that the age of the child might be just a bit too young. Most four year olds are not developed enough cognitively to understand the permanence of death, so this little boy would not really grasp the impact of his dad's death. Also, his speech just seems a bit too mature, more in keeping with, say an eight-year-old. An eight year old would grasp the full significance of death and would, developmentally be more likely to step up to the plate and try to be the "man of the house." If this is a true story, this is a truly remarkable little guy; and please forgive my blunder, if it is a true story. Just some thoughts. This is nicely, done, though!
10/19/06
Beautiful! Really touching.
10/19/06
The emotions were so seeped into this story. I felt everything the woman felt; her pain, her sorrow, her pride. Beautifully written. Excellent job!
Amy, friend!
Congratulations! What a sweet, sweet story and well deserving of your EC win. I am soooo excited for you as I know how excited you were about writing it.
Thanks for the heartwarming blessing.
Luv - Bonnie