The Official Writing Challenge
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08/25/06
A bit heartbreaking...I think we all know sweet Kaylas who fly away from God...I was glad for the hope at the end.

There's an unnecessary apostrophe, and a few missing commas that slightly detract from the polish of this piece.

I love the lesson learned from the sparrow, very sweet.
08/28/06
Very strong on God's love for the sparrow, a bit weak on the topic of Cross - however, nicely done.
I can visualize this "look" - and embrace the hope they suggest:

"They were a common grey, but the astonishing thing about them was that she could tell that he saw her."

08/29/06
The contrast between the little girl with ribbons and lace and the hardened broken woman on the footpath was extremely well done.

He knows the person within us, regardless of the exterior, he died for us and he redeems us ... that was beautifully brought out too.

Well done. Quite magnificent.
08/30/06
Amazed at the contrast between the young Kayla and the older one - you did an excellent job of bringing the two together effectively. I relaly liked this!
08/30/06
Lessons learned in childhood can make a big difference as we encounter difficulties later on in life.
08/31/06
You've done a beautiful job of this, Karen! I love the hands fighting to pull her mini skirt down - it says sooooo much! So hard to keep within the word count. Now you can go mad with it!
This entry reminds me of the subject in today's sermon - that we accept God's gift of salvation but we don't accept His gift of transformation. You, my girl, need to write some more.