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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Soul (07/13/06)
I stand on the edge, eyes closed;
Still the image is before me.
The constellation of your face
Lingers among the stars,
Moonlight dances on ocean waves,
Lightning faints on the horizon.
You are absent and present;
You are far away; you are near

Look for me, my love;
Close your eyes,
Feel with your heart;
There will you find me.

Raise your hand into the breeze,
Feel my heart beat against the wind;
It beats for you alone.
The air around me becomes your fragrance,
The flowers of Eden are inhaled;
You are breath, my life’s breath.
My purest thoughts feel you;
My body longs and aches for you.

You share the space of my soul
Where God alone has spoken;
Two shall become one,
Love’s mystery revealed in us.

I rest in the twilight;
Dreams reach for you.
Their pleas stir my slumber;
How long can we endure?
My flesh rises in rebellion;
My soul weeps;
My spirit whispers, soon, soon.
I am broken.

The farther I am from you,
My heart struggles to be free
To return to its owner, you;
My heart is not my own.

I rise before the sun;
Standing on the edge, I wait.
The horizon parts from the darkness;
The light floods my face.
I close my eyes and you are here;
Arms reach for you,
My heart is not fooled.
My soul begs, don’t stop dreaming.

But the day calls its demand;
I feel you slip away from me.
Soon I will come to you, my love,
You are far away; you are near.
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This article has been read 1695 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
david grant
07/22/06
I've read this several times and am mezmerized by it every time. I'm not sure if its a sonnet to God or to a mate. Either way, its beautiful.
Sue Dent
07/22/06
God or mate, the imagery is . . . hmmm . . . breathtaking? Wow, paint me a picture!!!! Oh, you just did! Thanks. ;)
Rita Garcia
07/22/06
You embraced each of the senses within this beautiful sonnet of love.
Jan Ackerson
07/23/06
This is like the Song of Solomon, perhaps? Both a picture of human love, and the love between Christ and His church? Well, perhaps like all the good poetry, it is open to many interpretations. The word choices and images are excellent, especially your use of oxymoron.

I'd like to see you add a few more literary elements--perhaps some alliteration here and there, to further separate free verse from prose.

Lovely.
Brenda Craig
07/24/06
You share the space of my soul
Where God alone has spoken;
Two shall become one,
Love’s mystery revealed in us

Simply beautiful, I loved the above lines. I see this as a three-stranded cord not easily broken, an interwoven love story reminding me of the scripture where David talks of seeking and requiring God as the very necessity of his life. Great job!
Jan Ross
07/25/06
Agreed ... Song of Solomon best describes this piece. I've read it three times and read something more each time. Its beauty, its depth, its mystery ... all wrapped up in verses of a love story. As strange as it may be, as I read it there is a sense of awe and holiness, like you've described the secrets of the "secret place".
Cassie Memmer
07/25/06
This is absolutely beautiful, G. No criticisms here. No suggestions for improvement. It is complete. It has the same effect as your music. It's haunting, yet so meaningful and speaks to the heart of the reader, listener. I could see you standing there. What a gift for your wife. What a gift to God. May He evermore bless you with more gifts to bring Him glory.
william price
07/25/06
This reads so true and honest. Pure emotions not tainted with pretense. To whom ever it was written, hopefully not to a pet(lol, sorry), but God or Mate, it was sincere and I'm sure it ministered to their heart.
Very nice job.
God Bless!!!
Tabiatha Tallent
07/25/06
I have to admit that I'm not much in to poetry that doesn't rhyme. But this.......had me on the edge of my seat to read every word. I could feel the strong emotions through every line. Beautiful!!
Joanne Sher 
07/25/06
Are you married? (LOL just kidding, of course!)
This was just beautiful - I felt every emotion, every image was breathtaking, and I could not stop reading (and I'm not really a poetry person!).
Trina Courtenay
07/25/06
Deep! Yep, it sure has depth. A pure joy to reread.
Dr. Sharon Schuetz
07/25/06
Simply beautiful. Breath takingly beautiful.
Kimberly Mitchell
07/26/06
No errors on this incredible entry. You did great leaves me feeling complete.
Shari Armstrong 
07/27/06
wow -some powerful words here- well done!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
08/09/10
A beautiful love story.
Betty Castleberry
08/18/10
Song of Solomon is the first thing I thought of. This is just beautiful. You know who it is written for, it's not important that we do. Beautiful.