Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Favoritism (02/28/05)
-
TITLE: The Day Chuck Went On Trial | Previous Challenge Entry
By Glenn A. Hascall
03/01/05 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
We eyed him with suspicion
He played no outdoor games
Different than the rest of us
His look, his size, his name
He didn’t seem to care a bit
What it was we all enjoyed
He simply did what he was told
It made us all annoyed
He was always called on
When the answers seemed too hard
Studying was just a part of life
For a boy that held all cards
What made him so special?
Why did Mr. Wilke like him so?
Couldn’t he be like the rest of us?
The unnoticed in each row.
We took it all away from him
We’d show whose rule he shattered
No friends and daily ridicule
To us? What did it matter?
A teacher’s pet, the stigma stuck
We joked, “He’s not a human being,
Some genetically altered cyborg
All knowing but never seeing.”
One day someone saw him cry
We laughed at his hard luck
No one even tried to comfort
A teacher’s pet named Chuck
At first glance, a rich reward
It seemed Chuck could do no wrong
The comparison drove us crazy
So Chuck never had friends for long
He may have liked attention
But he came to understand
That being the teacher’s favorite
Can leave one fried and panned
I wish the past could be undone
After all - Chuck wasn’t really flawed
He’s the kind of friend I’d like today
If not for the day that we played god
He was tried and he was judged
He failed our obscene test
We never fully realized
The pain inflicted by our quest
I know that I’m forgiven
But I still cannot forget
Flowers on granite only ease the pain
Of my silent, private debt.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
I think "that" should be "who". Also that line seemed a little forced. It didn't flow as well as the rest of your lines.
But, overall, a great poem that delivers an amazing lesson.
God Bless.
Sincerely,
Dan Blankenship
You didn't need the qualifier at the beginning. Whether it is fictional or not is beside the point - you're right, it is a universal situation that most (or all) have dealt with - that's understood. The qualifier kind of diffuses the poem somewhat before the first line is even read. It would have carried a real wallop if it had been left at just the poem.
In any case, this one is very good. Thanks for posting.