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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Enter (02/27/06)
She enters deep into herself and suddenly, I am given life. I wasn’t and now, I am. Or perhaps I existed somewhere and she has gone to that place to unearth me. Yes, she has found the tiny embryonic being that is me and begins to shape me.

Names demand her attention. ‘Eartha.’ She grabs it with one hand turns it over.

Her voice is clear. Too old fashioned.

Discards it.

Names stream passed painfully buffeting, shouting. Despite the discomfort I wait patiently.

‘Gabi! Gabi!’

Yes. I would like to be called Gabi.

She leaves for a while. When she reenters the place I inhabit, I am Gabi. Hero of God.

Over time, and under her skillful hands, I move from the shadow of nothing to the reality of a fully fleshed person. She enlivens. Gives me motivation. Puts words in my mouth. Provokes my actions.

I begin to understand her. I know when she returns to her world of flesh and blood how she longs to be with me, fleshing me out.

There are times when I hate her, when I resist her as she leads me through dangerous places and I am made to suffer.

I stand back in awe and amazement as she weeps for me – her creation, her creature. ‘Why?’

She wipes a tear from her eyes. I must take you through the shadow of the valley of death. You must be tested in the fires of life. You must face conflict and disaster just as we do, to be real.

One day she joins me in that special place. I can tell, as she draws the threads of my life together, that she has a predetermined pathway for me and it feels wrong. I wrench the idea from her and march boldly across her page.

‘No!’

She regains control and relentlessly pounds out the details of my life. I buckle and twist. I know myself so well now. I know what I will do and say. But she does not trust me.

Ultimately she does not trust herself.

She leaves and yet I grow inside her. I know she can’t stop thinking about me. She ponders the outcome of our last encounter and when she returns she is almost apologetic.

When will I learn that there comes a time when you take on a life of your own? When I have to listen to you rather than control you? Where do you come from? Why you? Why have I created you?

She can barely keep from spending time with me.

Now I am not just in that special place she visits to wrestle with me. I eavesdrop on her flesh and blood living.

‘For goodness sake! You spend more time thinking about your precious Gabi than you do about me!’

‘I can’t help it. The ideas are falling over each other. I have to get them out. Down. Or I will burst. You know that about me. You know that’s how I am. I can’t change the way I’ve been wired.’

Burdened with unnecessary guilt she returns. Together we enter that place where I was born and am nurtured.

Oh, Gabi. The worst is yet to come. Can you face it? Can I bear to put you through it? Is it worth it?

Why does he have to be so awkward?

But we have come so far, you and I and I sense the end is near.

We face off for a long time before we return tentatively to the journey she launched me on.

Gradually she regains her courage and her vision.

She subjects me to the most harrowing experiences. Yet, when I come through, I see that I am enlarged. I am better equipped for the next experience, whatever that might be. I never, ever want them to stop. I want her to stay with me always. I don’t want this to end.

There comes a day when she writes THE END.

She no longer enters that special place to explore my world.

I grieve because all the work and effort seems to be such a waste of time.

Time.

I no longer have a concept of time. I don’t know how much time has passed.

Days.

Weeks.

Years.

One day I find myself in someone else’s mind. Someone is reading my story. They journey with me. Laughing and crying and learning along with me.

I realize that to create me she entered the heart of eternity, to help her people find Eternity.
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This article has been read 1692 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Daniele Moskal
03/06/06
The start of the article is somewhat confusing - very difficult to understand.
The reader would be put off from probably reading the whole page. I'm sorry but
please remember "corrrection is not rejection!"
God bless you.
Edy T Johnson
03/07/06
Trying to get my mind around that first paragraph intrigued me to keep reading. I don't know how far into the story I was when it dawned on me: this is a character. And, then, of course the rest made perfect sense. Liking a mystery, I liked this!
Amanda D'costa
03/07/06
I find this a bit confusing....doesn't seem to be clear and to the point. Sorry to disappoint.
Suzanne R
03/08/06
I agree with the second comment - the mystery drew me in and kept me going. Is it God's creating the world? Is it a dream? Is it a baby? Ah - it is a work of fiction.

Although not very experienced (yet) in writing, I TOTALLY identified with the author getting caught up in the world she has created on the page, with the struggle to control the characters and yet the characters ultimately controlling their own destiny, the struggle she faced as she wrote those final words - THE END.

Overall, in my opinion, this is a unique take on 'entry' - I love it! I especially liked the way the point of view is of the story itself into which the author enters.
Amy Michelle Wiley 
03/08/06
I too, struggled through it, trying to figure out what this was about. But honestly, I like that about it. I like that it took 'til near the end to figure out. This was really great. Well done! I'm gonna have to read it again. ;-)
Jesus Puppy 
03/08/06
Val?
Cheryl Harrison
03/09/06
A little confusing at first, but I didn't give up. I kept reading because I knew there had to be something to it. I am glad I kept reading. Such a creative twist...the perspective of the character being written about...shaping and reshaping Gabi until the story was complete. I loved the last part where Gabi went from being being written about to being read about. Good job!
Marilyn Schnepp 
03/09/06
I admire all those that struggled on through...I'm sorry, I gave up. There are so many entries to read...I figured I would go to some I understand ;and then perhaps returns and try again. This is Advanced, so I KNOW there's something there!
david grant
03/10/06
You made me think all the way through, and question and wonder, and guess wrong. I get the feeling that maybe this is a parable, for those who have ears to hear.

This takes the level of writing up a notch in originality. It's a different creature, like I've been looking for.

I enjoyed the mystery.
Write us another one!
Rachel Rudd
03/10/06
Very interesting take on the topic! I think I figured it out about a third of the way through. I got it! :) Well-written, too!
Jan Ackerson
03/10/06
I love it, absolutely love it.
Deanna Wessel
03/10/06
In the beginning I was a little irritated that you referred to God as "she." I chose to keep reading...and realized that the author/creator in your story is ME!! Very different...very intriguing...held my interest. I liked it!
Lynda Schultz 
03/10/06
You have one fantastic creative ability. I had to work to understand what was going on but when I finally did, I had to sit back and be overcome with awe. Wow!
Linda Watson Owen
03/11/06
So wonderfully creative and fresh! I was with you from the beginning after a slight shift at first in thinking the creator was an actress ('stage right')before quickly realizing she was a writer. I loved this!
Maxx .
03/11/06
Definately creative. Very very good. My only concern is that I didn't get hooked enough by wanting to find out what the story was talking about. I ALMOST stopped. Glad I didn't. Very nice ending. and I can relate! :-)
Pat Guy
03/11/06
Whoa! Deep, creative, and an exceptional read. I so enjoyed this - especially the second time! This is great Val!
Tiffanie Chezum
03/13/06
I like it. It kept me wanting to read. Good job.
Julianne Jones
03/16/06
Wow! This was great, Yeggy! I was intrigued with the opening paragaphs thinking that you were refering to a babe within the womb, but very quickly it became clear that it was a character - and yes, we've all learnt that characters have a mind of their own! I loved it. Well done!
Beth Muehlhausen
03/20/06
This is brilliant - so creative - and thus reflects the creative mind of its creator!

My favorite part: "‘I can’t help it. The ideas are falling over each other. I have to get them out. Down. Or I will burst. You know that about me. You know that’s how I am. I can’t change the way I’ve been wired.’"

I've been THERE. :-)