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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Home (01/09/06)
I am finally leaving him. The bus will be here any minute, and I will get into that seat and go home to Mom, Dad and Jade. But before I do, I will call him to let him now that he has had his last chance.

“Hello, Lester? I just wanted to say I’m leaving you. I can’t take it anymore.” I begin to cry. That is the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to go out strong, with courage, but he has stripped that from me too.

“No, Melinda, don’t go. I love you. Please, please Melinda, please don’t leave. I’ll work on things, we’ll stop fighting, it will be good, I promise.”

I wait in silence as he, too, begins to sob.

As I listen, the bus drives in. I do not get on. I turn in the other direction and begin the long walk back to our apartment.

***
If I stepped out in front of this car, would anyone miss me? Jade would, yes, Jade would miss me. Only twelve years old and she has to put up with this shambles of a mother and father. Is she as tired of this pathetic cycle as I am? Will she abandon me too, just like all my friends have? Why, oh why did I not get on that bus and go to her?

I promised myself I would never stick to a man more than I would to my own child, but he is like my drug; I can’t help myself.

Lester, what have you done to me?

***
It’s dark now. If I keep walking under the lights it will be ok. I fell a bit safer having this pocketknife. Oh Jesus, Jesus, help me. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have a friend; I don’t have anyone I can trust. JESUS?

***
Why is this car stopping beside me? I don’t know this girl.

“Hi, can I give you a ride home? I hate to see a woman walking alone when it’s dark.”

I am so surprised to hear kindness that I climb in submissively.

“Do you mind if we go to a friend’s house first? I’m supposed to be there at 7, but I had to work, and she’s been waiting to pray with me. I’ve only got forty-five minutes left, but I’d love you to meet her.”

I nod my head.

***
It is 10pm and I am still at this “friend’s” house. I don’t know why I am talking so much. Her eyes are so full of compassion, and she acts like she cares. I can’t trust anyone, but she feels safe. I tell her of my husband’s adultery. I speak of my meth abuse, and my court date next month for possession of ½ oz. of a controlled substance. I share of the shouting and anger that hits the walls of our apartment every day and night. I show her my scars.

I am ugly and fat. Nobody cares about me. Even death cheats me.

“Melinda, have you ever brought all of your bad choices to the cross and left them there?”

“I did that before. I repent all the time, but it’s no use: I just go out and do the same thing again the next day.”

She draws a body filled with the Holy Spirit, and then draws arrows to signify how I have to let the Holy Spirit radiate out through my soul until it is finally free of bad habits. She says it takes years, and that that is why most of the Christians I actually like are the ones who have been letting God work on them continually from the inside out.

“You need to get back onto the right path. You need God as the center of your life and your will to help you to walk life in straight lines.

“Let my friend and I help you. We can teach you things about God, direct you to Scripture verses, pray for you, and have a continual prayer network going on for you. Put people around yourself that will be good for your soul. We’d like to be your home from home.”

She makes sense, this woman. She prays for me. She leads me to her sofa, puts on a movie, and I fall asleep waiting for Lester to pick me up. In my dream I am a child at home again, and I have no fear.

***
She has hope for me.

We’ll see.
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This article has been read 1761 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Shari Armstrong 
01/19/06
A powerful story -well done.
Pat Guy
01/19/06
I feel God will use this piece to help someone start thinking or to encourage them to get back on the right track. Good job laying out the Hope that is waiting for everyone. So many people need this!
Val Clark
01/19/06
Mmm. A message here not only for those who have strayed into addictive behaviours but to we who are too blind to listen to God and be salt and light.
Jan Ackerson
01/19/06
I feel as if I really know this woman. I like your writing style; very moody, especially in the first half of the piece. The last section doesn't ring quite so true for me; I think it might be the womens' words. I wonder if your narrator would retain them so accurately? Maybe she should be relating more of an impression of their message, to be consistent with the first half of the piece.

A beautiful, hopeful story.
Shannon Redmon
01/21/06
Gripping story! I definantly want "to see" what happens.
Maxx .
01/21/06
Wow. I was able to follow the storyline through the hops in time... well put together. Excellent ending... not knowing what might happen but we can see the hope.
Lynda Lee Schab 
01/21/06
This was very realistic. How many of us find ourselves falling into the same traps again and again? Maybe not meth, etc. but other things, like eating, smoking, anger... Who can't relate? Nicely written piece, cleverly constructed, leaving the reader with a glimpse of hope.
Blessings, Lynda
Suzanne R
01/22/06
I like the way you have the tension of will she go home, or back to her abusive husband ... and then change it by having her picked up (yikes!) by such a good person.

It's a reminder to each of us, too, from the other side of things, to be clued into what God is asking of us each day.

Well done.