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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: DELICIOUS (02/04/16)
The fruit hung there luscious and ripe
Emitting the sweet fragrance of promise through soft spoken words
Desire had risen within her for just one taste of the unknown
Juicy, sweet, succulent, forbidden fruit

Look but do not touch; words spoken by her Creator
Soon festered within when temptation arose
Forgotten was the fellowship with her Lord
And the beauty of the garden she loved

All around her was sumptuous fruit for the taking
She was free to partake in all but one
But freedom lost its flavor and its desire ran cold
Nothing seemed as appealing as the forbidden

Temptation wove itself into a need
It became a driving force
A voice fueling her desire
Poison dripping from the lips of the Liar

Seduction brought death to freedom
With one bite shared, desire died, truth exposed the lie
Her eyes were opened to what she had never known
Now she knew, man knew, we know.
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This article has been read 647 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Bonnie Bowden 
02/11/16
I liked the flow of this poem. My favorite line was "poison dripping from the lips of the Liar."
Jennifer Woodley 
02/11/16
'Nothing seemed as appealing as the forbidden.' Why is it that we are, just as Eve was, drawn to what is forbidden, when there is so much else good on offer? This is a great piece of work. Can't find any red pen critiques here. Thanks, I really enjoyed this one.
Noel Mitaxa 
02/15/16
Clever, creative and concise grasp of the tragic event and lessons to be learned from it. well done.
C D Swanson 
02/17/16
beautifully written!

Blessings~
Car Hickman
02/18/16
wow to take it back to when we departed from God's best, was stunning!
To present the topic of delicious as the tool of the serpent, which is true; using a poetic tone is also stunning!
C D Swanson 
02/18/16
Congrats!
Blessings~
Bonnie Bowden 
02/18/16
Congratulations, Sylvia, on your 1st place in the Advanced category. Your poem had a lyrical quality to it.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
02/20/16
Congratulations on ranking 1st in your level and 22 overall. The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.
Loni Bowden-Horn 
02/20/16
Sylvia, Beautifully written poem. Thought provoking. I liked the ending line. Why are we enticed by things that look delicious when we know how poorly the ending was for Adam and Eve.