Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Staff (01/31/13)
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TITLE: Where Mercy Flows | Previous Challenge Entry
By Deborah Ann Belka
02/05/13 -
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In the valley dark and deep,
amid the shadows of despair
the beast of the world hides
looking for those he can snare.
On rebellions gloomy floor,
where misery loves to sleep
in the fields of hopelessness
lays a defiant little sheep.
Pastures once green and lush,
now covered with sin's sludge
the wayward one is frightened
to meet its eternal judge.
The rush of life-giving waters,
arouses the backslidden one
a soul entrenched in darkness
sobs for the light of the Son.
In the valley dark and deep,
the errant one turns back to God
the beast of the world flees
to find another soul to trod.
From the shadows it emerges,
into pastures, once more green
the wayward sheep now rests
on His mercy, it now leans.
I was that rebellious sheep,
till His staff brought me home
and from the righteous way
His rod helps me not to roam.
He renewed in me His life,
covered me with His grace
and unto this very day . . .
His goodness, I embrace.
In the valley deep and dark,
lay more defiant little sheep
for each of them their Shepherd
cannot help, but to weep.
If you are a rebellious one,
if you too have lost your way
come to where His mercy flows
and return to Him ~ today!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Psalm 23
King James Version
"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil:
for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head
with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever."
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Just a few minor tweaks--the use of the word 'trod' at the end of one stanza doesn't really work without a preposition, and 'rebellions' is a possesive noun, so it needs an apostrophe.
Your poetic skills are strong, with excellent imagery. I enjoyed this poem very much.
When the reader can ascertain immediately by the content, and flair as to whom the author is...you've arrived!
Fantastic. Thank you!
God bless~