Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Funny (10/04/12)
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TITLE: a Fun Look at our Language - Through a Punster's Ear | Previous Challenge Entry
By Noel Mitaxa
10/08/12 -
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Abracadaver - When a magician’s assistant does not survive being sawn in two.
Army Intelligence - The wherefore of warfare.
Baroque O’Bama - A flamboyant seventeenth-century president.
Bovine residue - A polite term for data that could “steer” you away from the truth.
Cairopractor - An Egyptian masseur.
Coma-toes - When your foot goes to sleep.
Crow Magnon - A landmark stage in the development of blackbirds.
Disoriented - Being expelled from China.
Don Coyote - A prairie wolf with an Impossible Dream.
Edifice complex - The mindset of architects who find it hard to leave their mothers.
Ennui the Eighth - A much-married English king who quickly got bored with each of his wives.
Forghetti - An Italian pasta dish which the waiter only serves after being reminded several times.
FroZen - A Buddhist monk who likes to play it super cool.
Ghosts - Departed spirits who have scared people for centuries, but they have never once apoltergeist for this behaviour.
Goldilocks - A sad case of limited ancestry. While we all have forebears, she only had three…
Holy Grail - A highly-prized religious relic whose location is a chalicely-guarded secret.
Hypographical error - A press release with too much spin.
“I won’t keep you long” - A clause that Henry VIII inserted into each of his wedding vows.
Iraq - Where people once secretly feared spiders; but now everyone’s heard of Iraqnophobia.
Jew Jitsu - A Yiddish form of self-defence
Jung, Carl - A pioneer in psychology, whose ideas are mostly embraced by the jung at heart.
Kenyan - Extensive American erosion - most notably in the Colorado River’s Grand Kenyan.
Kindle-garten - E-books for pre-school children.
Loan arranger - An Italian bank clerk who handled credit applications in the Wild West.
Lute - Proceeds from the robbery of a music store by highly-strung thieves.
Meanderthal Nan - A Stone-Age grandmother who kept wandering away from the cave.
MunDane - A Scandinavian who lives a very dull existence.
Naval destroyer - A hula-hoop with a protruding nail – also called a vicious circle.
Nondescrypt - An unremarkable burial site.
Odour Cologne - Stale perfume.
Oregon - A US state where nothing is left to chance. All is so well-oregonised that it’s Spokane for.
Poles apart – When the Kowalski and Zwytkovski families live at opposite ends of the street.
Port Said – An Egyptian coastal city which is just as visible from a ship’s Starboard Said.
Quadrupeds – Zoologists are divided over whether these animals have four legs or forelegs.
Racks of Lamb – A menu choice whose increasing popularity may cause a lack of rams.
Role reversal - A duty incumbent on whoever sees that toilet paper has been set incorrectly.
Seuss, Dr – A children’s writer whose books deserve close Eggs Hamination.
Somnambul Ant – When a creepy-crawly becomes a sleepy-crawly.
Swan Lake – The best-known ballet to bear Tchaikovsky’s cygneture.
T’ephylon – An anti-stick coating for cooking utensils that chefs used in ancient Babylon.
Thesaurus – A prehistoric creature with a surprisingly extensive vocabulary.
Uncalled four – Needless actions by an anonymous quartet.
Undertakers’ conversations – Natters of life and death.
Vegans – People who refuse all meat, even if it’s from vegetarian cows, pigs, sheep or chickens.
Vixen – A foxy lady who is skilled in vixen everything as she wants it to be.
Will – Determination that’s shared; for where there’s a will there are usually many relatives.
Wig – An expensive element of false hood, for which wearers have toupee a lot of money.
X-calibre – The unknown inner measure of Camelot’s king. Hard to sword out – from a stone!
Xtragen – An immediate result of female hormone replacement therapy.
Yachting – A management program that builds trainees’ skills in anchor-management.
Yes man - Someone with all the courage of his boss’ convictions.
Zodiac – Astrological signs which show that it’s unlucky to be superstitious.
Zygotes – Embryonic embryos which are created when eggs are fertilized by competitive sperm cells – so competitive that one sperm cell told his rival: “You think you’ll be first? Ovum my dead body!”
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Author’s note. This is a selection of my diction-eerie which will be published as an e-book, as soon as it reaches my goal of 1001 entries (with only 35 to go)
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
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You couldn't have been more on topic if you'd tried because every noelogism is sooo funny.
And we all know who you are so we may ask for an autographed copy!
Too too funny for words.
God bless~
Wing His Words!
God Bless, Lynn
Great job and I wish you the best on your book.
God bless!
Wing His Words!