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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Commitment (01/05/12)
You better not do it
just ignore and sit

You better not say it
just ignore and sit

You better not mention it
just ignore and sit

You better not walk to it
just ignore and sit

You better not try it
just ignore and sit

You better not change it
just ignore and sit

You better not face it
just ignore and sit

You better not disturb it
just ignore and sit

She did do it
She did say it
She did mention it
She did walk to it
She did try it
She did want to change it
She did face it
She did disturb it

She walked to the middle of the crowd

"I Love Him-I believe He is the Christ and the Son of God"

She walked over to Pontius Pilate

"I wish to free Him"

She looked at His blood on the ground
She faced it, man's acts of violence and sinful behavior
She did disturb it-she wiped up His blood

"Please, take me instead, let Him go"

She looked at Jesus and fell to her knees- kissing His feet

"I love you Jesus"

"As I love you my child"

She was pulled away roughly by the Roman soldiers
Smacked and sadistically thrown to the ground

Her friend the scribe gazed intently at her before speaking

"I told you-I tried to warn you didn't I?"

"I had to try or I would not have been able to live with myself"

She heard a voice in her head

"You have done well my child by proving your love"

She looked around and heard the voice again

"You shall be rewarded in this lifetime and in my Kingdom"

She stood up slowly and sighed
She watched them take Jesus away to be crucified

Her friend the scribe completed his report
A lone tear splashed the parchment
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This article has been read 1224 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Brenda Shipman
01/12/12
True commitment, indeed!
Terry Lee
01/12/12
They say ('they' being the experts on the subject of writing) that to create a likeable character you have to make him/her larger than life. This likeable character would react, speak, and act in ways that we all would want to, but most often would be too afraid to commit to.

You my friend, have created a very likeable character indeed.
Judy Sauer 
01/13/12
What a powerful article. You kept me fully engaged from beginning to end. Great job!
Linda Goergen
01/13/12
Such well chosen, expressive and well laid out phrases give maximum impact and vision with minimal words! You so masterfully and powerfully intertwined great pain, passion, commitment and love in this flawlessly flowing piece! Outstanding job! I thoroughly enjoyed the read!
Hiram Claudio
01/13/12
I really enjoyed this piece. The whole way it was laid out, the perspective of teh cross from this MC ... it was simply and completely moving.

Not only worthy reading, but worth re-reading. Thanks!
Michele Fleming 
01/13/12
I truly enjoyed this! Great writing!
Noel Mitaxa 
01/14/12
You have beautifully combined simplicity with depth. Excellent feeling in this piece.
Nancy Bucca
01/15/12
I love the way you led into this and the point you made at the end. Well done.
Kristine Baker
01/15/12
Beautifully written!
Philippa Geaney 
01/17/12
I feel this piece will remain with me long after I walk away. Beautiful.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
01/19/12
This is really intense. I really liked the effect of no punctuation. It drove home the message.
Leola Ogle
01/19/12
Powerful, intense and well written. God bless!
Edmond Ng
01/19/12
Interesting way of putting across what must have been the feeling of some who loved the Lord and were unwilling to let Him die the gruesome death on the cross, yet it had to be done or all of us would not be saved. Thanks for sharing this. Good job!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
01/20/12
Congratulations for ranking 11th in level three!