Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Twilight Years of Life (07/02/09)
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TITLE: Opportunity for Unity | Previous Challenge Entry
By Tim Pickl
07/04/09 -
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Maribeth was the Nursing Supervisor on the day shift, and looked up and over a computer monitor as Bob walked by the main nurses’ station. “Mornin’ Bob.”
“Mornin’ Maribeth.”
“Awww…such beautiful flowers…Bob, you shouldn’t have.”
“I shouldn’t have; and I didn’t. They’re not for you.”
“Oh, I know. I was just kiddin’.”
“I know; and I’m just razzin’ you back. Today’s our wedding anniversary; and I wanted to make it special.”
“That’s wonderful. You’re such a good husband to Marcia.”
“How is she today?”
“About the same. She should be awake in a little bit. You want some coffee, or tea?”
“No, Maribeth: I’m going to start my visit today in the Chapel.”
“Okay. God bless you and congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
Bob ambled over to the Chapel, and pushed one of the double stained-glass swinging doors, and slowly entered. It was a large, simply decorated room lined with soft chairs on three walls. The center of the Chapel was left mostly empty to allow wheel chairs or beds to be rolled in.
Bob went to one of the chairs in the center of the room and sat down, placing the flowers on the chair adjacent to him. A spotlight was mounted on the ceiling above him, pointing directly toward the back wall. He stared at an unadorned, wooden cross as he began to pray. No one else was in the Chapel.
Except One.
“Dear God. I don’t know where to start…” Bob pulled out a handkerchief. “First, I want to thank You. Thank You for givin’ Marcia and me all these years together. I don’t know where I’d be without her.” Tears streamed down Bob’s cheeks, and he carefully wiped them. “I love her, Lord. I do. I really do. I… I just have a hard time tellin’ her. I know You know that. We’ve talked about this before.” He closed his eyes, crying for a moment.
When he opened them, the room was quiet—no air was moving. It was mostly dark and the spotlight was turned off. Ambient light streamed through the stained glass doors behind him. A man dressed in white suit appeared in front of the cross.
The man spoke softly, “Bob.”
“Wha? Wh-Who are you?”
Then the man announced, “I am a messenger from The Lord.”
“An angel?”
“Take this opportunity to tell Marcia.”
“What should I tell her?”
“Tell her what you just told The Lord.”
“I love her so much…”
“Tell her. It’s an opportunity for unity.”
The air handling unit kicked back on and Bob felt a breeze on his face. Simultaneously the spotlight lit up the cross once again.
The messenger was gone.
Bob focused on the cross and simply said, “Thank You Lord, Jesus, thank You.” He picked up the flowers and walked down two hallways over to Room Number 73.
Marcia’s Room.
Marcia was awake. Her eyes followed Bob as he brought placed the flowers in a vase near the window. Bob settled in a chair near Marcia’s bed.
“Good Morning, Marcia. Happy Anniversary.” Bob reached over and took one of Marcia’s weak, feeble hands.
“I have a lot to say today. Please bear with me.” The tears came again. “I know you can’t talk—and that’s okay; because maybe this all happened so I would have a chance to tell you…something…” Bob looked up to heaven. Immediately he remembered what happened in the Chapel.
Take this opportunity.
“Marcia, I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry. I have many regrets. I regret I’ve treated you so bad most of our lives. I regret not helping out more around the house. I regret for refusin’ to go to church with you for all those years. I’m sorry.”
Tears streamed down Marcia’s face, and Bob carefully wiped them.
“I need you, and I don’t want to lose you… Mostly, though, I love you. I do. I really do.”
Marcia cried so much, she made her pillow wet. She struggled with her voice, and miraculously, gradually—one syllable at a time—responded, “I… love… you… Bob.”
It was an eternal, tearful moment, as years of emotional healing flooded their souls, uniting them as one.
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“Mornin’ Maribeth.”
“Mornin’ Bob. This is an amazing miracle—I can’t believe Marcia’s goin’ home today.”
“Yes, she is. Thank God.”
“Amen!”
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Reference:
God knows how often I pray for you. Day and night I bring you and your needs in prayer to God, whom I serve with all my heart by spreading the Good News about his Son.
One of the things I always pray for is the opportunity, God willing, to come at last to see you. Romans 1:9-11 (New Living Translation)
So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.
Ephesians 5:15-17 (New Living Translation)
Therefore, angels are only servants—spirits sent to care for people who will inherit salvation.
Hebrews 1:14 (New Living Translation)
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Some review of the proper use of commas and semi-colons might be needed.
You have a gift with dialog - a good balance between being realistic and being dramatic.