The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/09/09
Touching story of going home.

Some review of the proper use of commas and semi-colons might be needed.

You have a gift with dialog - a good balance between being realistic and being dramatic.
07/10/09
Nice story, a error or two but overall good writing. Interesting you chose the 'opportunity' to get your message to the reader also at the end with the scripture references.
You surprised me - I expected the typical "swing low sweet chariot" piece that is becoming way to overdone and predictable - someone dying and the sweet smile on their face. Glad this was different and upbeat.
07/13/09
This was very touching. I can see it played out.
Lovely with a great message, too. And a nice ending! Thanks for sharing this.
A nice little story and I really like the ending. It could use a title change-I skipped by it once-but what a great lesson for all of us. I'm so glad this couple had more time together.
Thank you for the reminder to take the opportunities that we are given to tell someone that we love them. I liked the message of this piece.
A great homegoing story. You handled it with tenderness. Kudos!
07/15/09
Well you surprised me with the turn of events at the end! But I'm a sucker for happy endings, and this one fit that bill well. The emotion, especially during his speech to Marcia, was gripping - I was holding my breath. Nice job.
I'm glad Bob finally did tell Marcia and that this piece had a nice, happy ending. What a sweet couple! Lovely story!
07/15/09
A sweet story, with a surprising (but satisfying!) ending. Well done.
07/16/09
A moving story with so much truth. I was able to feel the emotions expressed in your writing and it stirred my heart. Thank you for sharing this story.