The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/12/09
You have some nice thoughts in this free verse poem. The red light-green light for the heart is very creative.
I enjoyed your creative poem...sounds like you found the right girl!
I like the comparison of trafic lights with hte heart as well. Nicely done. Good message. if only all of us would learn the golden rule of treating each other with love and respect, the way we long to be treated.
05/13/09
You're in forever, the last line. Very powerful.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if all our relationships were "in forever".
Mona
05/13/09
This is the best free verse I've read. Very well done! I like the second to last stanza. That's what marriage is all about...giving of ourselves to each other for life.
I love this! It reminds me sooo much of my fiance, Jamie. One of the things I love most about her is that she doesn't play games like many girls do. She tells me exactly how she feels about me, and she makes it very clear that she wants to be with me for life. I do the same with her. If a couple truly wants to have a happy relationship, then they need not play red light, green light. Good job with this, Ben!
05/14/09
Lovely poem and I really like the comparison you made with the game playing kind of selfish "love" at the beginning with the steadfast unselfish love at the end.
You are going to be a great husband. (and soon too!)