The Official Writing Challenge
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This is certainly creative! I liked how you kind of threw in the bit with the future/past thing. That made it much more interesting for me, I liked how the scene was 'revisited'. Very funny at the end with the cake and chocolate crumbs. The third line in the beginning, is that a thought? It might work better in italics-just a tip. Great stuff! ^_^
02/15/08
Great descriptions, and very clever. Enjoyed this read.
A very creative idea. I was a little confused at the beginning as to which Sarah she was - the old or young one. This story would also work well from the other perspective i.e. the young Sarah learning to live with her mistakes by meeting her future self. A very good take on the topic.
02/15/08
Loved your idea here and how you pulled it off.. Sometimes when I read this kind of creative genius, I feel a tinge of envy, and then Stop and think... Learn from this and LIGHTEN up... just as your lesson described so well.. Loved it from start to finish! Good writing...
02/16/08
Clever. Had to read the piece twice, but one I "got it", I really liked it.
02/16/08
Very creative. Good job!
Laury
02/17/08
Sort of corny but you did pulled it off with the ending. The writing was good.
02/18/08
Creative and clever. Your ending made me laugh.
What a unique and creative approach. I love the idea of an older, wiser version of Sarah teaching and admonishing herself.
Very creative. I like your MC. Good work.
I love your creative approach to this topic. Well done.
I liked the idea a whole lot. I did have to read it over because I got confused. I'm not sure about the POV, but I guess when both of the MC's are the same person ...? Anyway, it surely was a creative story! I enjoyed it.
02/19/08
Creative and well written!
02/19/08
Oh, I LIKE this!! I got quite a chuckle out of it--especially the last line. Mrs. Jones!! Very well done! *grin*
02/19/08
Oh my, I didn't get your punch line until I read Patty's comment! Here is my 2nd comment -- well done! Very funny! LOL!
Laury
02/19/08
Excellent! I love the ending, and this is absolutely perfect for the topic! Very entertaining reading.
02/19/08
Very clever. Very funny. And a very powerful message in a 'lite' piece.

I agree with some others about the 'voice' being a little confusing -- which Sarah was talking -- at times.

Great job with the topic. Quite a fun read.
02/19/08
Very creative. I must confess though, I hope I never meet myself in my computer screen. Nice work.
I was glad she didn't give it away, I had a feeling about that Jonmes boy.....This is such a creative story. Keep up the good words.
I hope this places--it is so creative and demonstrates the topic so well. I loved it.
Imaginative and funny. Oh, the things that seem to be the end of the world when we're young. Good message.