Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “Don’t Try to Walk before You Can Crawl” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/17/08)
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TITLE: Dream Chasing | Previous Challenge Entry
By Benjamin Graber
01/24/08 -
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To be the bigwig in D. C.;
His father wanted to support him
In what Dave’s heart desired to be,
So he gave his son a hundred bucks
To make and sell some lemonade,
Or buy some parts to fix up bikes
And start upon a simple trade…
But Dave just could not understand
How just a hundred bucks would do—
He heard that the campaigns cost millions;
How this sum helped, he had no clue!
And so he used it for an X-Box
Since he was saving up for one,
And wasted time away at games
And killed ambition having fun…
I knew his brother, who had dreamed
To change the country with his pen
His father was a little wary,
But gave a hundred bucks again,
He wanted Drew to use it wisely,
To make and sell some lemonade,
Or buy some parts to fix up bikes
And start upon a simple trade…
Unlike his brother, Drew bought lemons
And bought some wood to make a stand,
He started business in the heat
And soon his drinks were in high demand;
He soon expanded, selling more,
And with his profit set aside
He bought a new computer
To start the next step on his climb…
I know not what their futures hold,
But I am sure which one is bright:
The one who spent his talent wisely,
And kept the future in his sight…
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Most of your lines have 8 syllables, so that when occasionally you have a 9- or 10- syllable line, it causes a bit of a "trip" in the rhythm.
I enjoyed this story poem!
It is still a good piece of writing.