The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/24/07
Thank goodness God does know and sees things in us that no one else can see. This article is a blessing.
11/24/07
Funny turn of events there at the end:) Thank you so much for sharing!
Laury
11/28/07
I like the mood of tender reminiscence here.
11/28/07
I loved the voices you gave the characters. You captured their dialect and made it easy to distinguish them. Lovely story.
I enjoyed this story so much. I fell in love with Abner and his memories. Your ending was just right.
This was a delightful read. I loved the whole story! Well done.
06/25/08
I really liked the premise of this piece. For me, it seemed difficult to read. I felt like I was plodding through each paragraph. Perhaps if you begin with the action of the kids fighting it will draw in the readers. The ending was good and wrapped up the story nicely.
Oh, I love the twist at the end. Very well done.
I absolutely loved your opening paragrap, it hold so many truths and the message your article delivers at the end can't be denied.
Cute story. I was a bit distracted with Janelle and the stranger. I wasn't sure if the story was going to be about Calvin or the fighting twosome. I loved how you tied it all together at the end. I wonder how many pastors got their start fighting on the playground?
Superb ending! Love the double twist. (And a flashback to boot!) :)
06/26/08
LOVED the ending! And the flowing mood ... and the POV. You captured these VERY well.
06/26/08
The ending was a surprize to me! The story seemed so serious and then all of a sudden ended on a light-hearted note. Great job! Kept me interested all the way through and I really enjoyed it!