Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Angry (08/02/07)
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TITLE: Furious | Previous Challenge Entry
By Verna Cole Mitchell
08/03/07 -
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Pounds out wrath relentlessly against all in her path.
Once playful waves now roll and roar
To ceaselessly assault the silent shore.
Sullen clouds, like angry hornets, swarm
From out their azure nest
To sting both earth and sea alike
With pummeling, punishing bites.
Lightning shards, as from a giant broken light,
Shatter across the darkening horizon,
While the sun scurries away to hide his golden face
From the fierceness and the fury of the storm.
Thunder shouts with a savage voice
Bass rumblings of his rage,
In tandem with the wailing wind,
Let loose from God’s strong hand.
The men at sea in rain-soaked yellow slickers
Attempt to steer their pitching vessels home,
Before their lives be taken as a forfeit
To appease the rising passion of the gale.
Then suddenly the tempest’s put to rest
By the One who calms the wildness of the waters,
And God brushstrokes across the easel of the heavens
The rainbow of His everlasting promise.
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I'm not very knowledgeable concerning all the different styles of writing, but if this was a style of poetry, I had a difficult time with the rhythm of it. But then maybe there's not supposed to be a rhythm. Just shows how little I know. But what I do know is that I was captivated by the story and images.
I liked this:
Thunder shouts with a savage voice
Bass rumblings of his rage,
In tandem with the wailing wind,
Let loose from God’s strong hand
I loved these 2 lines:
To appease the rising passion of the gale.
While the sun scurries away to hide his golden face.
I'm partail to personification!
Also your verbs were strong and "soundy": shards, shatters, scurries, assualts , pummeled! Wow!
One bit of critique ... I would have left out the word "ceaselessly". I think assualts is strong enough without a modifier.
I had no problem with the rhythm, it was very rhythmatic of a poem without end rhymes! But Of cousre, I'm that "out there" free style poet!
Verna, I'm so impressed with this one!
Lightning shards, as from a giant broken light,
Shatter across the darkening horizon,
While the sun scurries away to hide his golden face
From the fierceness and the fury of the storm.
So good!
To ceaselessly assault the silent shore." Great use of alliteration! Well done!
Reading this late, and can see why so many loved it! The description and imagery are brilliant, and the crescendo at the end was like the climax of a huge orchestra's finale... LOVED those last few lines... WOW!
This is one of my favorite poems I have read yet.. Dianne