Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Sad (07/26/07)
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TITLE: The Promise of Hope | Previous Challenge Entry
By Rita Garcia
08/02/07 -
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“Miss Bryanne, are you almost done with the papers?”
Emily’s voice interrupted her thoughts. Emily often played on the floor in Bryanne’s office. “Are you ready to go do something else, maybe go listen to your story tapes?”
Bryanne went over and knelt on the floor next to Emily, and ran her fingers through Emily’s honey-colored hair. She had grown to love this child, she knew she shouldn’t have favorites, but somehow Emily touched a special place in her heart.
“Come on, I’ll take you to your room.”
Bryanne had just finished settling Emily in with her story tapes, when Ron came to find her.
“You have a visitor, someone by the name of Chance Logan.”
Bryanne redid the clip in her auburn hair, brushed the lint off her slacks as she tucked in her long sleeve silk shirt, and quickly retraced her steps back to her office.
“Hello Mr. Logan, I’m Bryanne Ashton.” She extended her hand.
“Thank you for seeing me, Ms. Ashton, and please, call me Chance.”
“You said on the phone that you were interested in learning more about our center. May I ask what your interest is?”
“My grandmother is Mrs. Riesman.”
“Your Lillian’s grandson, then you must be … Harriett’s son?”
“My grandmother speaks very highly of you and the work your doing here. She asked me to talk to you about how I can help the center. I’m a reporter and perhaps doing a story would generate some financial support.”
“I don’t know what to say. I’m not sure Lillian knows the extent of the help we need.”
She sat behind her desk and observed Chance as he took the seat across from her, his dark good looks definitely came from Lillian’s side of the family. “I guess the next question is where do we start?”
“A tour of the premises would help me know how to approach an article about the center.” He loosened his tie as if he were preparing to tackle the problem head on.
The intercom on her desk gave a beep. “What’s up?” She asked into the receiver.
“Tell Emily I’ll be right there.”
“If you have a few minutes, I’ll take you on a short tour now.” Bryanne stood up, and Chance followed her lead.
“First I need to say goodnight to Emily, prepare to have your heart captured.”
“Tell me about her.” He listened intently to the tenderness in her voice.
"Emily came to live here about two years ago. She was in a car accident with her parents. Her parents were both killed. Emily’s cornea’s were injured and scarred, leaving her blind."
“How old is she?”
“She just turned six last week.”
“Nothing can be done about her sight?” he said.
“She may be a good candidate for a corneal transplant at some point. But, the doctors feel it will take a while before they would risk it.”
“How do you deal with this kind of tragedy, on a daily basis?”
“When Emily first came here I nearly feel apart. There were nights I wept and prayed, until the morning light peeked through my windows. I couldn’t understand why God didn’t heal her, or more to the point, why He had allowed it to happen.”
“You said that was when she first came here, does one get used to it?”
“I was tucking Emily in one night, before leaving for home. I kissed her cheek, and her face look so angelic. I realized my attitude was making her seem somehow flawed."
“So, you became accepting?”
“I don’t know if I'd say accepting, I became aware that I love Emily, and I no longer see any flaws when I look at her.”
“I think you just gave me an idea,” he said.
“I don’t think using Emily would be a good idea.”
“Neither do I, I do think an in-depth interview with you, about your vision for these children, is exactly the right approach.”
They stopped at the door to Emily’s room. Tears of love and joy filled Bryanne’s eyes, as she looked at the little angel who was already fast asleep. She noticed Chance wiping the corner of his eyes, and then he placed a hand on her shoulder.
“Start a list of needs, we'll get the funding.” His words held the promise of hope.
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This is very dialogue-heavy--perhaps a bit more description would help to put your readers in the setting.
Nothing like a precious little girl to put a lump in the ol' throat...